Is there a way to start over?
by Ardastra
Summary: Snape survives Naginis bite, but is thrown into Azkaban before his innocence can be proven. When he finally is released, bitter and with few supporters, will he find some direction in his life, or is he doomed to a solitary existence.
1. Chapter 1

Snape did not die, the epilogue does not exist, none of this is mine besides the plot, all else belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am merely playing with the world she created.

This is a Snape/Hermione story so if that is not your cup of tea then I am sure there are plenty other great stories for you to read out there.

This is my first fanfiction, but I have had a love for the pen since I was little. The M rating is there for future chapters that might have both foul language in them and be a little citrus flavoured... ;o)

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The second of May, 1998

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He woke with a start and his body automatically drew in a long desperate breath that filled his lungs.

Disoriented he raised his hand towards the pain on his neck and found a sticky mess that could only be dried up blood.

Slowly his hazy mind showed him flashes of what had happened before he had passed out.

"I failed to protect, I have to...have to..."

He drew himself up and staggered towards the door of the shrieking shack.

He could feel the wounds on his neck opening up and blood starting to gush out once again. He leaned on the door handle almost too weak to turn it but finally got the door open and stumbled over the threshold outside where all was black.

He whispered "lumos" unaware that he had no wand in his hand.

He saw a movement in the corner of his eye and heard a voice shouting.

"It´s Snape...STUPEFY"

But even before the curse hit him, he lost conciousness and all was black again.

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18 Months later.

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McGonagall stepped with trepidation into the little dark cell.

She had travelled instantly to Azkaban with the necessary documents as soon as the Wizengamot had made the ruling.

Even without Dementors, Azkaban was a miserable place. It seemed like combined with the cold and the damp, there was despair that had ingrained itself inside the walls from the thousands of prisoners that had been living, and sometimes dying inside the prison.

As McGonagalls eyes adjusted to the darkness she saw a sleeping form on a small cot towards the wall. Ragged breaths was all that was heard inside the cell and McGonagall whispered,

"Severus.."

With startling haste the man on the cot threw himself up and put his back towards the cell wall. Something feral flashed across his face until he could control himself and put on a blank expression.

McGonagall could not help but to flinch when she saw his beat up face.

"Severus, what has happened to you?"

"Well, when both sides see you as a traitor, it seems that one is fair game wherever one goes. My fellow inmates are deatheaters, and the guards all know someone killed by one of my former associates, you do the math."

"Oh Severus..."

"I do not wish for your pity Minerva. Will you kindly tell me what takes the illustrious headmaster of Hogwarts to this rather uninviting place" Snape said with an acidic tone.

McGonagall sighed and conjured up a chair each for them and sat down.

"I know you have not allowed any visitors since your incarceration Severus, but today the guards had to let me in. I wish that the message I bring today would have come sooner, it is a travesty that you should be kept here after all that you have done for the wizarding world. But the mills of justice work slowly and, well, despite the evidence it has been awfully hard to convince the Wizengamot of your innocence."

"Who is to say that I do not belong here?" Snape said while taking his seat across from McGonagall.

"Do not say such a thing, what ever you have done, was in the service of Dumbledore, and you should not be punished for that."

"Something tells me that is not how the Wizengamot saw it though?" Snape drawled.

McGonagall looked down before she answered, but not before Snape could see a blush on her cheeks.

"Lucious Malfoy were asked to witness. While he could confirm that you never actively killed anyone, or partook in the raiding parties that did such unspeakable things, neither in the first nor the second war. He also spoke of the things you, as he said, allowed to death of Dumbledore and Charity Burbage, were discussed especially much. And that most of the wizards and witches of the Wizengamot has children or grandchildren that has been taught by you at Hogwarts during your reign as headmaster was not really helping either..."

"So Lucious got a small revenge on me then, he sits two doors down from here and in spite of his previous influence, is not really bound to come out before he is an old man." Snape spat out.

"Without the constant visits to the Minister of Magic by Harry pressing him to review your sentence, I am not sure you would not have had to stay here as long as Malfoy. The boy has been quite adamant in working for your release. He has petitioned for you to receive and Order of Merlin as well, but I think that is a lost cause." McGonagall said.

"Foolish boy! What makes him think I would want his help! If he thinks I will come crawling on my hands and knees to thank him he will have to wait a long time indeed. I am sure he feels all high and mighty now. I know that he told everyone of my memories of his mother. The guards made sure everyone knew quickly enough. Mocking yells all involving Lilly was all I heard for 6 months. So Little Potter gets all he wants, while seeming a saint for releasing me, he at the same time made me into a mockery. He wins again. The boy who lived, more like the boy who is full himself and has more luck than a whole bouquet of four leafed clovers."

"Severus, I know your prejudice against the boy run deep, but they are unfair. I am sure Harry does not expect your eternal gratitude, but instead felt that he owed you, for what you have endured for his sake, and all of our sakes."

Snape simply looked McGonagall in the eye and conveyed his view on the matter without having to speak a word.

Minerva leaned forwards and put her hands on Snapes bunched up fists.

"It has taken us a long time to rebuild Hogwarts, and the children are finally returning to us. School started up two months ago and we are are having trouble filling the teaching positions.

Severus, would you consider returning to us?"

Snape hesitated and for a second looked a little lost to McGonagall. But as he squared his shoulders and looked straight into her eyes she could see the man that he had been, stubborn and proud.

"Why would I want to return? I taught at the school and stayed there because of my promise to Dumbledore, I have no obligation to go back now that he is gone"

"I understand how you feel" McGonagall said. "But if you at least return with me today and let Poppy take care of you for a while until you feel stronger again, then you can make your decision. Hogwarts is as much your home as it is mine and you will always be welcome there"

"Well" Snape said. "I hardly need a nurse fussing about, but a couple of days of proper food and my own potions would be beneficial I assume. But if I were you I would keep looking for a Potions professor."

"No need, Slughorn has agreed to yet another year, the position I need to fill right now is that of Defense of the dark arts teacher..."

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So that was the first chapter of my first story. I do so hope you enjoyed it.

And remember, reviews to the author is like matches to a pyromaniac, it lights a spark that can turn into a roaring fire :o)


	2. Chapter 2

So here is the second chapter, I do so hope you will like it.

I would like to thank you for all the subscriptions and sweet reviews I have gotten, they have made me wear a huge smile these last couple of days.

I own nothing but my story and tribute all else to the great Rawling. I do not get paid any money for this in any way and ask for only reviews as my reward... :o)

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No matter how many times Snape took a bath he never felt clean. For months on end the only water he had seen was the cup he got with his sparse meals.

The prisoners were supposed to be allowed a bath each a week, but somehow his turn seldom came.

Now, not even when he had scrubbed his skin raw, did he feel like it was enough. His bathwater always seemed to have a slight red tinge to it when it was drained.

He was back living in the rooms at Hogwarts that had been his for so many years. But even though he had all of his things around him and slept in his own bed, he still woke up every night bewildered and wondering where he was.

He ate all his meals in his room. Partly because he had no wish to see anyone else, and partly because he ate every scrap of food as if it was the last, he could not seem to control himself. For too long he had been constantly hungry, and now it seemed like he could never get enough. More than once had he thrown up, and watched himself with self hatred in his mirror afterwards.

After a quick checkup by Pomfrey when he arrived at Hogwarts the only other person he had seen was McGonagall who made sure to come by at least once a day.

She was worried about him, but knew better than to voice her fears aloud. More than once had his breath reeked of firewhiskey, and after a a quick inquiry with the houselves of how many bottles that had been delivered to Snape she knew that something had to be done. She just wished she knew what.

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Snape woke up in the middle of the night startled by a scream, after a moment he realized it was his own. It had been the same nightmare as always.

He rose from the bed, threw on his robes and walked into the sitting room. He poured himself another glass of firewhiskey and swirled the liquid around, staring at it, seemingly mesmerized by the amber liquid.

He felt so restless. His rooms suddenly appeared smaller as if the walls were closing in on him as soon as he turned his back.

He threw the glass into the fireplace causing the fire to flare up for a second, and stalked out of his quarters.

He all but ran up the stairs leaving the dungeons behind.

He had to get air, it seemed like he could not draw a proper breath. He could feel his pulse racing and his chest constricting.

When he turned a corner, suddenly someone was in the way, someone who apparently did not see him and therefore proceeded to bounce off his chest and fall down on the floor in front of him.

"Oh goodness, I am so sorry, I was lost in my own thoughts, not that it happens seldom. But I should at least try to stay aware of that there is a world around me as well" a female voice said apologetically from the ground before the she rose up.

"...Professor Snape, it is you. Minerva told me that you were back. I had planned to come down to see you, but she said that I should wait a while, and..."

Snape held up his hand to silence her, and without a word he stepped around her and continued through the outer doors, slamming them shut behind him. Not stopping until he was out in the courtyard and the cold november air filled his lungs. He threw his head back and just breathed.

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Inside, having not moved an inch stood Hermione Granger, slightly dazed by literally running into her former professor.

Since hearing of his release she had looked forward to seeing him. She wished to tell him how grateful she was for all that he had done.

She had always respected the man, even though she might not have liked him. But after the war when she found out how great his role in her and her friends survival actually was, the respect had grown into admiration.

She realized that she had created a picture in her mind of who the real Severus Snape might have been all along, and now seeing the man in the flesh, she only saw the same man that he had appeared to be during her school years, that nothing really had changed.

He had looked at her as if she was no more than an annoyance, and apparently did not feel like she was even worth a single word of greeting. Or apology for that matter, he had ran into her just as much as she into him.

She should not have been surprised though. One of the reasons she had returned to Hogwarts was that nothing really seemed to change after the war in the wizarding world. It felt as if all that they had gone through should be forgotten as soon as possible so that things could get back to status quo. But for Hermione that had left what remained of her childhood years ago somewhere between being tortured and watching her friends die, things could never be the same again.

Irritated she turned around and walked back towards her quarters. Her sudden craving for a midnight snack had disappeared now.

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It was around noon that McGonagall knocked on Snapes door. When he did not answer, as usual, she just let herself in. A second afterwards a tea tray with two cups and some sandwiches appeared on the side table.

He was sitting in his sofa staring into the unlit fireplace. The shards of glass from last night had at some point been cleaned away by the houselves, Snape had not even noticed that they had been there.

"I see that you ordered us some tea, Minerva. I almost find it amusing that you feel like you have to have a reason for coming in here, disturbing me, when we both know you would barge in here no matter what.

You suppose that bringing food, an article you want me to read or the latest news among the faculty is showing me some respect while you check up on me. But it just makes your need for control seem even more silly. Why not just stand for what you are doing and get down to business.

You really should bring a sheet of points instead that you can tick off. Is he most likely drunk, check. Is he pissed off, check. Do I make him even more pissed off by coming in here at all hours, double check" Snape said while pretending to check off a list in the air with his wand.

"That was quite unnecessary Severus, you know I care about you. And remember that I have known you since you were an eleven year old handing in 12 feet essays to me that took me half the night to go though, you could not scare me off even if you tried."

After playing two sides in two different wars, Snape knew when a battle was lost and continued to stare into the fireplace.

"So, Severus. I heard you met Hermione last night. She said you bumped into each other while you were heading out for a stroll."

Severus looked at McGonagall incredulously: "Something tells me that is not exactly how she put it."

"Well, perhaps not quite." McGonagall conceded. "Could you please treat her with civility at least Severus, I think she was a bit hurt by your behaviour."

"What is the chit even doing here? Should she not be off enjoying the adoration of the masses as a third of the Golden trio? Or does Potter want all the attention for himself?"

McGonagall sighed and walked over to the side table and served the tea. After handing Snape a cup, and adding far too much sugar to her own she sank down next to him.

"A few months after the fall of Voldemort, Hermione contacted me and asked if she could get the seventh year curriculum in all subjects so that she could study enough to be able to sit her NEWTs. I think she needed something to concentrate on, and offered to help her with her studies. It had not yet been decided what would happen with Hogwarts and I guess I needed something to do as desperately as Hermione. She off course received Outstanding in all her subjects. But during our study lessons we spoke as much about life as we did the schoolwork, and I daresay we became friends. When we got the go ahead to build up the school again I asked her to come with me and become my apprentice. She always had a fascinating aptitude for Transfiguration. So now she is a part of the staff. She takes care of the transfiguration students up until the OWLs, and I take care of the NEWT students as much as I can between my headmaster obligations and building up the school again. I am not sure what I would do without her."

"But why would she want to leave her friends and the opportunities that she must have had as the brains of the Golden trio. Does she not have a family?" Snape asked in an annoyed tone.

"That is not my tale to tell, you will have to ask her if you are curious." McGonagall answered.

"Why would I ever be curious about what a former student does of her life, it just baffles me that someone would come here by choice. Had I any, this would hardly be it."

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Ok so that was the second chapter, what did you think?

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I like reviews better than I like Ben & Jerry´s Strawberry cheesecake ice cream, and let me tell you, that is a lot :o)


	3. Chapter 3

I am totally overwhelmed by the nice words guys! You have made my weekend! And thank you to all the lurkers as well, just knowing so many are reading this story is wonderful indeed and makes every minute I have put into it worth it.

I am very aware of that the M rating is rather silly at this point, but since I know what will come I think it best to keep it there so that I do not feel like I will corrupt the minds of the young when the lemons arrive, and arrive they will...eventually...

I do not make money on this and Rowling is god of this universe even though I have slightly altered it.

I do hope you enjoy

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Hermione was gathering up her painting supplies that she had gotten earlier that day in Hogsmeade, trying to balance the easel on her shoulder until she gave up and shrank it all down so that she could put it in her pocket.

It had been a long last week before the Christmas holidays and she had looked forward to being able to paint again, she just never seemed to have time for it anymore.

After most of the children had left yesterday she had sat down to look over all the end of term papers that had been handed in. She now knew she had about 75 feet of parchment all in all to correct. Had she not given the children practical tests as well it would have been twice as much. There would be plenty of time to work on them between Christmas and new years though.

The practical tests had been a great success in several ways. She was proud of the children for doing rather well all in all. But she got a huge smile on her face thinking of how many matchboxes with legs and lanterns with bat wings she had to run around to try to catch after the classes. The hardest part had been to keep a straight face when Aldon Towers and Derek Muldoon, the two class clowns of the fifth year, had transformed the floor into an ice skating rink. They then proceeded to do belly slides up and down the isle until Hermione could pull herself together and vanish the ice. Those two were seemingly doing their best to become the new Weasley twins of the school.

Glancing out the window Hermione saw that the full moon had risen over the mountains, it was time to head up to the astronomy tower.

Repairing Hogwarts had been a lengthy process and it was far from done. It took months for the curse breakers from the department of mysteries to get rid of all the dark magic that lingered in the castle after the battle. Since then the staff had done their best to repair one part of the castle at the time. The priorities had been to have the classrooms and dormitories ready before the students would arrive. The great hall had been restored, but the enchantments to the ceiling had not been able to be duplicated yet. Flitwick was working on it though, and Hermione was sure he would find the correct charm any day now.

One big problem had been the paintings. So many had been burned from hexes and fires that their inhabitants had escaped to the few that was left. It was a less than ideal situation to have about 20 beings per painting, and the arguments could be heard all over school some days when they could not get along.

Hermione had taken it upon herself to paint new landscapes and settings for the homeless figures. What had started out as an enjoyable project had honestly turned into a bit of an annoyance at times.

Hermione had painted since she was a child and had always enjoyed it. But after having to change her paintings over and over again after the strangest requests, she was a little fed up to be honest. The fat lady had been the worst. Not only did she demand that she should have a grand hall to sit in with gilded furnishings and more food and wine than anyone could even need, but she had also complained about every shade of color that Hermione had used. The pink was to soft, the red was too sharp, the blue was too watery, and so on. Finally after what even Hermione admitted was a rather childish fit, she decided that she would paint what ever she felt like and if it was not good enough, well then the painted figures would just have to continue to live like sardines.

Today she would paint the landscape outside the castle when it was drenched in the wonderful light of the full moon. There was a hole flock of painted owls that had lost their favorite tree in the fire, and she knew they would enjoy flying around in the moonlight looking for mice hiding under the snow.

You could not smell the astronomy tower several stairs away any longer now that Trelawney was not the divination professor anymore. The room itself also looked like a place where serious studying could actually be done with star charts and bookshelves along the walls and telescopes pointing in different directions through small holes in the roof.

Hermione had grown rather fond of the place, and often retreated up there when she had a few minutes by herself to just look at the sky or read a book.

When she stepped inside the door, she suddenly came to a halt. By one of the windows a dark figure was placing stones that looked like they had encapsulated smoke in them on the windowsill.

"Can I help you miss Granger?" Snape slowly turned around and faced Hermione.

It had been almost four weeks since they ran into each other in the hallway, and Hermione thought he looked much better. The bruises on his face had gone away and he had gotten a haircut so his hair reached just below his collar. But his eyes still looked strange. They had always been hard but somehow with a spark in them. Now they were dull, and at the moment full of suspicion.

"No, Professor. I am here for the moonlight."

"I am not a professor anymore miss Granger. The moonlight is why I am here as well, although except for charging moonstones I am not sure what it can be used for. Care to enlighten me, I am sure you can quote at least 8 different books on the issue?" Snape said with a sneer.

" I probably can" Hermione said calmly. "But Tonight I am only going to paint it. I can not think of a thing that is more beautiful than this sight right here." she said as she walked up to a window and looked out in the distance. The silver light of the moon created beautiful shades all over the mountains and created a rippled reflection of it all in the lake.

"Since when did you turn into a romantic miss Granger? I thought you were supposed to be the practical one, the one that always comes to the aid to the boy in spectacles and his stupid redhead sidekick, regurgitating facts like a walking encyclopedia devoid of any actual real deductive skills?

And as for the moonlight, you know that it is mostly bad things that come out when the moon is high. Things lurk in the shadows and wait around for easy prey. If there is even such a thing as a fair prospect then it would be an open landscape bathing in sunlight so that nothing can hide from you, nothing can creep up on you from behind and stab you in the back." Snape had agitated himself to the point where he was panting when he was through with his little speech. He turned to the door and started to walk towards it. Just before he reached it, he turned around and fixed his gaze on the woman before him. "This is no place for you, no glory awaits you here, no parades will be made in your honor and all that comes from this place is a quiet solitude that I can not fathom would be your choice. Are you not supposed to be living out in the world where you have a name that all people know, get married and create masses of obnoxious redheaded children?"

"Snape! What ever gives you the right to judge me, or even try to discern my motives for anything at all." Hermione shouted at Snape. With a low icy voice she continued. "You do not know me. It was a long time since I sat in your classroom as a student cowering under your gaze, trying to please you, hoping for an encouraging word that never came. I always did my best to see your good sides when you were so adamant in hiding them. I have done nothing to deserve to be treated like a silly child by you. The bushy haired girl with her hand in the air is no more, and the woman I am now will not just stand here and take your verbal abuse."

"So you actually grew a backbone." Snape drawled looking at Hermione with cold eyes. "Do you expect me to treat you like your adoring masses, marvelling at your supposed intelligence and bravery in the fight against Voldemort."

Enraged Hermione stepped up to Snape and lifted her hand to slap him over the cheek. But an inch before impact her wrist was caught in a vice hold. Looking up in Snapes face she saw two obsidian eyes looking back at her with uncontrolled fury in them. For a second, fear crept up her spine as Snape pulled her against his body and hissed "Very few have ever escaped with their lives for doing what you just tried to do to me. One should never get oneself into trouble that one has no way of getting out of." Snape was breathing heavily and stared down at the woman before him. Before Hermione could react, Snape grabbed the back of her head, closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to her own with forcefully. There was nothing passionate about the kiss and it was over almost before it began. Snape lifted his face and stepped back still not releasing Hermione with his furious eyes. Finally he turned around and stalked out of the tower.

Hermone stood in a daze wondering what just happened. It had hardly been her first kiss, but never had she had one like this. There was no tenderness or playfulness about it. She felt like she had been punished, and her bruised lips agreed with her. She was shaking and did not know what to do. After standing in the middle of the room for a long while she took one look at the full moon and decided that it would be back in a month for her to paint then. At the moment she would not be able to hold a brush, let alone actually paint with it.

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There, third chapter done. I hope you liked it. And if you did or did not and want to give me some words of encouragement or good advice there is a little button a couple of centimeters below, it is called Review, and if you press it something really good is going to happen... I promise... :o)


	4. Chapter 4

Ok I am up to a lot of hits on this story now. I am totally overwhelmed you guys!

Thank you so much for the constructive criticism in the reviews, since this is my first story you are the only ones that can help me become a good writer, and that you take the time to write what you think is awesome.

I am sorry about all the little typos that seem to have found their way into the story, hopefully they do not bug you too much. I will do my best to find a Beta if I decide to write another story after this one.

Sooo, just to clarify, Rowling is God, I own nothing and get no money...

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"What the hell was that...!" Snape had rushed down the stairs of the astronomy tower and straight into his quarters. Now he was standing in the middle of his sitting room just trying to wrap his head around what he just did.

One second he had been his normal snarky self, granted at the same time quite enjoying the chit verbally biting back. But somehow the next moment his lips had met hers. He remembered that the instant before he wanted to shout at the girl, perhaps even hex her for daring to try to slap him. But the proximity of her form had done something to him. It seemed his body had rebelled, and he was furious with it. The kiss was an angry one though and he know that a fleeting thought of shutting her up had flitted through his mind, but "...what the hell..."

Snape poured up four fingers of firewhiskey and downed it right away. As he was filling the glass up again he resolutely decided not to think of the kiss at all. Something told him that was a part of his mind he did not want to explore right now, who knew what he would find.

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Hermione was curled up in her comfy leather chair just staring into the fire after having a quick lunch at her quarters when suddenly they flames turned green and a head appeared over the logs.

"Hermione!"

"Hey Harry" Hermione said. "Do you want to come through or do you want to play floating head?"

"Be right there." Harry answered cheerfully.

Wish a big whoosh in the fireplace and flames that blinded Hermione, Harry Potter came jumping out with a big grin on his face.

"It is so good to see you Hermione" Harry said while giving her a big hug.

"You too Harry, it has been too long. But somehow time ran away with me and we have been terribly busy here the last few months."

"I know, but we miss you, we all do." Harry sat himself down on the couch and Hermione sat down next to him. "That is partly why I am here actually, I wanted to check with you in person that you are sure you are not coming to the Burrow for Christmas. I come bringing bribes in form of Mollys cooking to make you change your mind" With an impish look Harry took out a little box from his robes and enlarged it.

"That is just evil." Hermione said as she opened the box. "You know I could never resist Mrs Weasleys chocolate trufflecake. But I am sure that I will be staying here for Christmas. I will however keep the bribe anyway." Hermione conjured up two plates and spoons and gave them each a piece. "I know that no one holds any grudges because of what happened, or rather did not happen between Ron and I. But now that he has a new girlfriend it would feel really strange to be there with his family. I promise to come over in a month or two for Sunday dinner though."

Harry devoured his cake piece in a little over two breaths and leaned back on the couch. "How is Snape doing?"

The question caught Hermione by surprise and she did not know what to answer. " I am not sure, why do you ask?"

"Considering everything he has gone through I can imagine that it can not be too well" Harry said with a sigh. "I used to go to Azkaban almost once a month to try to make him see me, so that I would know how I could help him. But he refused to see me. I do not blame him, he is a proud man and he would not want anyone to see him when he i less than his best I presume. I heard things as well at the prison, of how they were treating him."

"What did you hear?" Hermione said with trepidation, she was not really sure that she wanted to know.

Harrys face grew hard. "The guards sometimes joked around when they did not know I could hear them. They laughed about how they 'accidentally' forgot to give him food or clean clothes. And sometimes even how they made up excuses for beating him up. They had so much anger in them towards him. Some where his old students and the others just seemed to detest the fact that he, as they saw it, pretended to have belonged to the good side all along. They presumed it as a trick to get out of jail. He was treated worse than a dog, and after all his years of struggling to conceal who he was for the greater good, that was his reward." Harry frowned. "He is a hero, and even now when he has been set free, people mistrust and shun him. I just wish there was something I could do to help him." Harry turned towards Hermione. "Do you think you could keep an eye on him and tell me if there is anything I can do for him. I know how much respect you have always had for him, even when Ron and I did not, so I know you will look after him."

Hermione did not know what to say at first, what she just heard about what Snape had gone through moved her. Judging someone for the actions after all of that might be a bit rash. No matter how angry she had gotten at the man for what happened last night, she would give him the benefit of a doubt.

"So how is Ginny doing?" Hermione said to change subject.

"She is doing really well, the Holyhead Harpies is a good fit for her, and her team has embraced her. She is away a lot, but we can usually sneak in an hour or two here and there to see each other. It is a bit hard since I travel as well, but we are running out of death eaters to catch so perhaps I will be able to travel a bit with her." Harry started to fidget with a tassles of one of Hermiones throw cushions, and suddenly he looked like he had the first time she had met him on the Hogwarts express, nervous but excited. "I am proposing to Ginny on new years eve, do you think she will say yes?" Harry said with an anxious voice.

Hermione started laughing "Oh Harry, the girl has loved you since she was 10, all she wants is to be with you, silly boy. I am so happy for you both, I know no couple that are better suited for each other, you really are the perfect match in every way, and I know you will have a great life together."

Hermione really was happy for them, but at the same time a small voice in the back of her head whispered that she might never have what they do. She had persuaded herself right after the war that she was in love with Ron, and they had started dating. She wanted it to be real so much that it almost ruined their friendship as well. Because friendship was all that they really had. It was sad to say goodbye, but it had been for the best. When she thought about it now she saw both Ron and Harry as brothers really, but that did not mean that she had not mourned the loss of the future she had thought she would have.

Harry could see Hermione drifting off into space. Something he had gotten used to since the end of the war. She often looked so sad, but if you asked her, she said it was nothing.

"Hermione, don´t you think it would be better for you to live closer to all of us, we miss you and I know you miss us as well. Staying here away from the world can not be good for you."

"Harry." It seemed like they had talked about this a dozen times. "You know what I think of the wizarding society. After the war we all went to so many tedious ceremonies, but I thought it would be the start of something new. But everyone seemed to go back to normal, ignoring what had gone on for the last couple of years. Nothing has been done to insure the same thing will not happen again, just because Voldemort is gone does not mean that no one else will get the same idea sometime in the future and it all starts over again. There was a reason why so many followed him, alone he could not have done much harm to begin with. But nothing is done about the pureblood prejudice or the treatment of non-humans.

There was not even anything in the news about all the arrests you and the other aurors did. I think I saw a two line story on the death of Mulciber when he tried to take you down in Austria, but even that centered around how many muggles that needed to be obliviated after the whole affair. When you tracked down Selwyn and Rosier there was nothing. Just because they pretend there is nothing evil in the world does not make it so.

They all just expect us to go on like nothing had happened, all they needed was our smiling faces when new awards were given or at quiddich matches releasing the snitch." Hermione lowered her voice. "But I still wake up screaming at night thinking that Bellatrix has returned to kill me. I hardly dared walk outside my apartment before Neville had tracked Rodolphus Lestrange down and sent him off to Azkaban. We all have scars that will never go away, some hide it better than others, but I am tired of pretending everything is alright."

A tear slowly ran down Hermiones cheek and Harry put her head on his shoulder, his arms around her and just let her cry.

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It is almost midnight here in Sweden so it is time for me to go to bed. But if i am a really good girl I might wake up to a review or two...? :o)


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for the wonderful reviews, when I get home from a day at the office and see that I have a new one waiting in my inbox, no matter how my day have been I get all excited :o)

Nothing is mine but the plot!

Now I present to you, the fifth chapter, I hope you like it!

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Christmas day 1999

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Snapes eyes flew open, hardly breathing he slowly reached for his wand. Something had woken him up, and he had no idea what, but he knew he was not alone. An icy fear crept up his spine and it seemed like every muscle in his body was tense ready to spring at any moment.

Suddenly one of the floorboards creaked out in the sitting room. Snape jumped out of his bed dashing to the door with his wand raised. In the corner of his eye he saw a movement next to his fireplace and swirled around while casting a Stupefy. With a thump a body fell down to the floor.

"Ah Shit!" Snape exclaimed irritated and walked over to the house elf and turned it onto its back. After a muttered Enervate the house elf stirred and sat up. "Me so sorry master, Trixy bad elf, Trixy was not to wake master, Trixy will put his hand in boiling water!" The little elf got up on his feet and was about to disapparate to the kitchen when Snape grabbed his arm and growled "Foolish creature, there is no use in boiling yourself, no matter how stupid you are. What the hell were you doing here anyway?"

"Headmistress lady tell Trixy to put giftsies in master Snapes room." The elf pointed towards a small pile of wrapped presents laying on the side table. "Trixy is sorry!"

"Stop being so incessantly annoying and tell me what those are doing here." Snape said while gesturing towards the gifts.

"Its a be Christmas master Snape, everyone get giftsies on Christmas." The elf disapparated and left a silent Snape standing in his quarters.

It was still hours until the sun would rise, but after the surge of adrenaline while he thought he was under attack Snape knew he would not be able to fall asleep again. The effect of the firewhiskey had worn off the second he had opened his eyes as well. He walked over to the bottle standing on the mantle. Snape picked up the bottle and went to pour himself a new glass. But after retrieving a clean glass he stopped and just looked at it. After a few moments he slowly put it down again, and put the cork back into the bottle.

Snape walked over to the pile of gifts and glanced down. There were four of them all wrapped in shining paper of different colors. He lifted the first one and looked at the tag attached. On it there was a greeting from Flitwick. Just in case Snape did a quick spell to see if there was any dark magic on any of the gifts before opening the one from the charms professor. It contained six small empty potion bottles made out of crystal with emerald colored stoppers. The second gift was the size of a matchbox and had a little card attached to it. On the card it said " On a recent mission I ran across these, I hope they will come to use. I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new millennia, best wishes Harry Potter." Snape looked at the card with a sneer on his face and wondered if the stupid boy would ever give up trying to establish contact with him. But as he opened the wrappers he found a little wooden box inside containing four vampire fangs. They are an incredibly potent potion ingredient, and almost impossible to acquire. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, he got a little excited just thinking of the potions he would be able to brew with that kind of ingredient. His budget as a potions teacher had not stretched far enough for such extravagant purchases so he had actually never had the possibility to work with it before. Just the fact that it was from the insufferable Potter would not stop him from using it. But he would hardly admit that if anyone would ask.

The third gift was a bit larger and on it the note simply said "Merry Christmas Severus" It obviously was from McGonagall since she was the only one ever using his given name. Inside he found a chessboard and beautifully carved wooden chess pieces. It was a muggle chess set. Something that almost could resemble a smirk touched his lips. McGonagall knew of his fascination for chess strategies, but had also apparently noticed his apprehension for the unnecessary destructive nature of wizard chess. Chess was supposed to be a civilized battle of the minds, he felt that the pretend slaughter on the board made it cheap and tacky.

Snape put the board and the pieces on his coffee table, he assumed McGonagall would want to play with him the next time she barged in to his quarters. Snape found himself not to be adverse to the thought.

Snape picked up the last gift. It was a rather large and flat, he turned it around but could not find any card or note attached to it. He cast a few extra diagnostic spells just to make sure that he would not get a nasty surprise when he opened it.

Snape gently took away the paper and looked inside. In his hands he was now holding a painting, the picture in front of him was of a beautiful open flower filled field with the sun shining down from a clear blue sky.

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There were few students left at Hogwarts for Christmas. The ones that remained was to have Christmas dinner with the professors in the evening. The house elves had gone all out and made every kind of Christmas related food imaginable. The great hall had been decorated like a winter landscape with icicles from the ceiling and enlarged snowflakes hanging in the Christmas trees that were lining the walls. On top of the floor was a layer of pale blue ice, it was not slippery though. Flitwick who had charmed the floor had thought that a broken leg or fractured arm might put a damper to the celebrations.

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Hermione went over to her closet and looked through it for something to wear to dinner. It was slim pickens for sure, but hanging in the back she found an emerald green robe with beautiful gold embroidery around the low collar and sleeves. Hermione had gotten it for the ceremony where she had received the order of merlin. Back then she had stilled had high hopes for the wizarding world. She sighed and walked over to the mirror. When she had put on the robe something had to be done with the hair. It had tamed down a bit over the years, but without several charms it tended to look like Witch hazel, although fitting, it was not the most attractive of looks. But now she shaped her curls so that they fell like a waterfall down her shoulders and put a golden hairpin with a little porcelain orchid on it about an inch over her left ear.

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Almost everyone had arrived in the great hall when Hermione walked in, everywhere she saw smiling faces and professor Flitwick was showing the two first year students that had stayed how to make the best pieces of chocolate jump out of the bowl by themselves and on to their plates. Little Nicholas Rowd exploded into a fit of giggles when he accidentally made an orange truffe bounce off the table an onto McGonagalls hat without her noticing.

Hermione got herself a glass of wine and fell into a discussion with Slughorn about how one could persuade the giant squid to donate some of its ink to the professor. Hermione thought that 20 pounds of trout should suffice as a bribe, while Slughorn true to his nature was trying to figure out a way to trick the ink away from the octopus.

Just as they all were going to sit down silence descended on the hall as Snape came in through the door. He proceeded to walk straight over to the table and without really looking at anyone took a seat next to McGonagall who with a smile said "I see you got my note, I am glad you decided to join us."

Snape continued to look down on his plate as he was filling it with food. "Well, I was going to eat anyway Minerva, but I will hold you to your bribe hardly concealed as a promise for at least two rounds of chess afterwards." If one had not known better, the sound of Snapes voice had almost sounded vaguely cheerful.

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The dinner was pleasant and the spirits high. That something had been added to the punch probably helped that along a little as well. Professor Barnson, the muggle studies teacher even belted out in some Christmas carols with his deep baritone, Hermione could not help but to join in as did several of the others. It was more loud than good, but they enjoyed it none the less.

It was nearing midnight as the party was breaking up heading back to their quarters. Snape who had hardly said a thing all night except for short conversations with McGonagall stood up and told her that the chessboard would be set up in 5 minutes in his sitting room. Hermione had been discreetly watching him all night to see if he would acknowledge her at all, he had not even glanced her way. It annoyed her in a way she could not really explain.

As Hermione was about to go over to professor Sprout for a chat she felt that someone was coming up behind her. When she turned around she came face to face with Snape. His eyes were intense and she suddenly felt a bit nervous. "I just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas professor Granger:" Snape said with his deep voice. Hermione stumbled a bit over the words but got out a " You too, Mr Snape."

Snape was about to walk towards the doors when he changed his mind and looked at Hermione."It is Severus." he said in a low voice that only she could hear. And with that he proceeded to walk away towards his quarters.

Hermione would have been less surprised if someone had told her Voldemort had returned. Again he left her standing bewildered in a room. What on earth was it about the man that always seemed to render her speechless.

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Okiday, so that was chapter five, what did you think? Is there anything you are missing so far or will you beat me violently with a stick if I do not get a beta soon, any thoughts will be received happily.

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I wish you all a great weekend!


	6. Chapter 6

I never knew how much I would enjoy writing fanfiction, and now that I am about half way into my first I already plan to go on and write more after this one is done. The reviews have been especially delightful and I enjoy them more than I can say.

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I hope that you enjoy this next installment, because here we go :o)

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Snape was heading towards McGonagalls office. After spending almost half of the night in a chess battle with her, he had actually stayed in bed for an extra hour or two this morning. The house elf that had brought his breakfast had told him the headmistress would like to see him before noon.

As he was about to turn a corner he heard voices at the end of the next hallway. He stopped before the people that were talking could see him. Some things were hard to change, and the spy in him had been there for so many years it was now a part of his personality. Knowledge was power, and usually the only power that he had wielded. Sneaking in corners came as easily as breathing. He listened intently and realized that the two women talking were Hermione and madam Pomfrey.

"Poppy, I realize the dangers, I know it is addictive, but I can not function without it. I have too much to do, and too many people rely on me. If I do not sleep, I will go insane. When the dreams come they linger in my thoughts all day and I can not concentrate on anything else." Hermiones voice sounded of exhaustion.

"Sweetheart, I understand, but I am afraid the long term effects of continued use of dreamless sleep are too severe to ignore. I can not with good conscience give you any more." Madam Pomfrey gave Hermione a quick hug. "I know it will be hard for you, and I wish there was anything else I could help you with."

Hermione sighed and spoke with a slight shiver to her voice. "I guess that I will have to manage."

"Come now" Madam Pomfrey said. "Lets go up to my room and get ourselves some early lunch, I know there are plenty leftovers from yesterday so the house elves will not have to go through any extra trouble, I know you don´t like when they have to do more than they already have on their plate"

As they walked away, Snape stepped into the corridor. "So" he muttered to himself. "I guess she can not get away from the nightmares either." He felt a quick twinge of pity towards Hermione, he himself knew how it was to wake up in the middle of the night with a silent scream on your tongue and sweat soaked sheets twisting around you. Hermione had sounded so defeated, like the spark that always had seemed to be in her had faded.

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"Come in!" McGonagall said as Snape knocked on the door to the headmistress office. "Thank you for coming Severus, I had planned to come down to you, but I have hardly time to breathe. This morning the disasters have piled on top of each other. As soon as I woke up I was told that Myrtle have had a bit of a temper tantrum and managed to clog all the drains in her bathroom and we now have water seeping out in the corridor. I do feel for the girl, neither her life nor her afterlife is very cheerful, but sometimes she really gets on my nerves.

After that I got an Owl from the school board that announces that they will come here for an inspection in two weeks, like I need those people looking for faults staring over my shoulder, following my every move. They should just leave us alone and let us get started properly before they poke around.

And as if that was not enough Pomona came in here just after breakfast and announced that she will be leaving the school after the end of the school year. She has gotten an opportunity to do research on wild Abyssinian Shrivelfigs and does not want to pass it up. She has wanted to go into research for so long, and I could never with good conscience ask her to stay, she wants it so badly. But it leaves me with one more position to fill, and I also have to find a new head of house for Hufflepuff. I did not need this right now."

Snape silently stood and listened to McGonagalls rant and just waited to see where he came in to all of this. The woman could have been a Slytherin, she certainly was sly enough. And as he expected she continued. "I am sure you understand how much pressure I am under, and I have a favor to ask of you, I really did not want to rush you, but..."

Snape sighed "Get on with it woman, what is it that you want from me?"

McGonagall walked around her desk and went to stand in front of the man she had seen as a friend for so many years. "Severus, as it is right now, school starts in 12 days and I do not have anyone that can cover the Defense against the dark arts classes. I would not ask you to step in if I had any other way of solving it. Would it be possible for you to do it until the term ends at least? You know you would be doing me a great favor..." McGonagall quieted down and looked up at Snape. He had not said a word, and it was impossible to know what the man was thinking.

After what felt like an eternity to McGonagall he spoke with a low and almost apologetic voice.

"I will be totally honest with you Minerva, I am not sure I can handle it." Such an admission was harder to Snape than it was to most people. To admit any kind of weakness was close to a death sin in his book, and had anyone else but McGonagall stood in front of him, he never would have. "I think that I could take care of the classes, but sitting the nights through correcting insipid essays, I just don´t know..."

McGonagall quickly spoke up. "I will make sure that you get someone to help you with that, I can ask Hermione, I am sure she would not mind helping out."

Snape hesitated thinking of the encounter he had listened to a few minutes ago. "Do you not think that Professor Granger has enough on her plate?"

McGonagall answered, "I know she is a bit stressed out as it is, but I will make sure to take away some of her other responsibilities. I can take back the fifth graders, I know she is terrified of not teaching them enough for their OWL´s. I have done it so many years I can almost do it in my sleep. Don´t worry about her, she is tougher than she looks." McGonagall smiled as she thought about the girl that she was so fond of.

Snape was not so sure though, what he had seen of Hermione was that of a woman putting up a strong front and was crumbling behind it. But if she would be working along him for a while he might see how she was really doing. His years as a spy had made him a good judge of character and often enjoyed finding out what the other one was trying to hide. And in this case, even if he might not consciously admit it to himself, he actually was a little worried about her.

"Until the summer then, and remember I am doing this as a favor to you, I will collect the debt Minerva." Snape looked sternly at McGonagall.

"That is all I ask Severus, and I am more thankful than I can say."

Snape just made a mumbling sound and walked out of the office.

When the door had closed Minerva let out the breath she had been holding and sunk down in her chair. All in all it had gone better than she had thought. She desperately needed a DADA teacher, that much was true, but she had contacts that could have arranged for a replacement in just a few days. No, her true motive for getting Snape to take the position was that she thought the man lacked a purpose in his life, and if he had something to do, well then he might give up one or two of the destructive habits he had developed. The man seemed to be standing at an abyss wondering what he should do, and if she could just keep the him from drinking himself to death until the summer, then he might find something worth living for in the meantime.

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Hermione sat in her quarters staring into the fire. There were so many things she was supposed to do right now, but somehow her body had given up for the day. She was so tired. It had been three days since she got to sleep for more than an hour at the time.

Suddenly there was a pop next to her and one of the house elves appeared in front of her couch holding a small bottle. "Hello Binker, is that for me?" Hermione said, she had made sure to learn all the house elves names the last few months, it was the only thing she seemed to be able to do for them that they actually appreciated. "Yes, Missus, its a be said I take to you right away."

The little elf handed the bottle over to Hermione and with a pop was gone again before she could say thank you.

Hermione looked at the little crystal bottle and saw a note attached to it. On there it said " This is my own version of Dreamless sleep, I call it Chronotribe, it will work at least just as well as the original, but has none of the addictive substances in it. If you are to work with me I need you well rested./ Severus"

A smile slowly spread on Hermiones face, suddenly her day seemed much brighter, and it was not just because of the thought of a good nights sleep ahead of her.

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Getting reviews is like pushing the snooze button in the morning, it feels just as good every time!

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	7. Chapter 7

Who has the best readers and reviewers ever?...I do! :o) And I have even more than that now, I have a Beta! So thanks to the lovely Alex, aka xoRetributionox, I now have a text that has all it´s dots and letters in the right place!

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I guess it is time for another statement, I do NOT own Harry Potter, if I did, well then Snape would be alive and get a sudden urge to move to Sweden and marry a 30 something year old Muggle, shag her senseless every day and always wear billowing capes, billowing coats and billowing morning robes... ;o)

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Time for next chapter, I hope you will like it.

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Snape stood in front of the fireplace in his office with a frown on his face. He knew what he had to do, but could not seem to persuade his limbs to move. He had put it off too long though and now it was time. He sighed, threw the floo powder into the flames, and with a strong voice said "Malfoy Manor".

Snape emerged from the fireplace in the library of Malfoy Manor. The room looked just like it had the last time he had been there, extravagant and cold. And that had nothing to do with the temperature.

A house elf appeared in front of him. "Master Snape, wait please in here, I get Master."

When the house elf had gone, Snape started pacing back and fourth. He had no idea what kind of reception he would get.

As he heard steps coming closer, he stopped and felt the sweat starting to run down his back.

"Draco." He said as the young man stepped inside the door. The tension was palpable and he had no idea what to say next. He waited for his godson to take the next step.

"Severus, it has been a long time." Draco spoke in a monotone voice and Snape had no idea what his godson was thinking.

"I am sorry about your parents, I can imagine how hard it is for you to have them both in Azkaban, and I understand if you blame me." Snape looked down on the floor, afraid of what he might see in the young man's eyes otherwise. Draco walked slowly over to where Snape was standing. He put his hand on his godfather's shoulder and said "It was not your fault Severus, my father made his own choices and my mother did nothing to stop him. I did blame you for a long time, but I know you. You did what had to be done for the greater good, and my father just wanted power for himself. You were on different sides, and my father chose the wrong one. I just wish my mother would not have been dragged into it all, she did it out of love, but sometimes that is not enough of an excuse. In five months she will be at home again though."

Draco saw Snape raise his head and his eyes looked suspiciously moist. "Severus," Draco said, "You are the only one I have right now that I feel like I can trust. I know you would never ask me to forgive you for your part in it all, but I want you to know that I already have."

Snape visibly straightened up and it looked like a hundred pounds had been lifted off his shoulders. "Thank you Draco." was all that he could say.

After a long evening spent discussing everything that had happened in and after the war, Draco and Snape were sitting in large leather chairs in what now essentially was Draco's office. "It has been hard to figure out my father's financial affairs and try to manage them. But I am the head of the Malfoy family now, and I will do my best to get back some of our reputation. Our name is so closely related to that of Voldemort's that I am not sure we will be let back into civilized society even in my lifetime." Draco had a sad smile on his face. "I will do my best though; it can not make up for the things I have done, but I can try."

Draco looked tired and Snape saw a new maturity in the young man that had not been there before. He had always had faith that the spoiled and headstrong boy Draco had been would grow up to be a better man than his father. As a godfather he had tried to steer the boy clear of both danger and hurt. He had succeeded at neither of the two, and he felt ashamed because of it.

When the time came for Snape to go back to Hogwarts he reached out his hand to Draco who ignored it, took a step forward, and gave his godfather a hug. Snape patted Draco a bit awkwardly on the back but felt true relief for the first time in a long time.

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Hermione walked towards the castle doors to head outside. It had been dark for a few hours and midnight was about 45 minutes away. As she got out into the cold winter air she pulled up the hood.

"Hermione, about time! We are heading down to the lake now." Hagrid had a huge grin on his bearded face as he walked up to Hermione and gave her a hug that left her with very little air in her lungs.

Around her the other staff members chatted merrily. Over by a column she saw Snape standing, watching the Whomping Willow lazily swinging the branches around in the air. Hermione walked over to the man who looked lost in thoughts.

"I wanted to thank you for the potion, Severus." It was the first time she had used his name to his face. It felt a bit strange, but pleasant.

"You are welcome Professor Granger, I trust it was effective?" He answered.

"If I am to call you Severus then you really must call me Hermione. And yes, the potion worked like a charm, no pun intended. To be able to sleep properly seems to make everything easier." Hermione said with a smile.

Snape looked turned towards her and after a short silence said. "I am glad I could help you, Hermione."

His voice made her name sound exotic to Hermione's ears, and a sudden heat seemed to run up her spine. To relive the tension Hermione scrambled for another topic of conversation.

"I did not know of the staff's Hogmanay celebration, how long have you had this tradition here at Hogwarts?"

Snape turned his head and looked at McGonagall. "Minerva started it here as soon as she entered the staff. She thought that since we are in Scotland we should celebrate New Year's Eve the proper Scottish way. It all evolved into a ritual for the adults that are at the castle over the holiday. It starts with us all walking down to the lake with torches where we light up a bonfire and Minerva sings "Auld Lang Syne" in a rather...interesting way. She has not really been gifted with a singing voice that could make angels cry. The terrible nagging she will force upon you if you do not participate in the celebrations makes you bear the hour out here though, where at least one can suffer in silence."

Had not Hermione been so surprised she would have started to laugh, the man actually made a joke, several in a row even.

"Lads and Lassies, time to light up the torches!" McGonagall shouted loud enough so that she could be heard over the conversations around her. Everyone went over to Hagrid who was handing the torches out. When they all had received one, McGonagall shouted "Fyre Eructo" and the torches were all lit in a flash. Slowly they walked in a procession down towards the lake. No one was speaking and Hermione felt a calm around her that she had not in a very long time. The silence was comforting and her feet felt light. Hagrid, who walked up front, took up what looked like a huge mace but instead of a spiked ball at the end it looked like a round little cage. McGonagall tilted her torch towards the cage and fire erupted from it, but not escaping its confine more than a few inches. Hagrid lifted it up and swung it around in the air as they walked. In the darkness it looked like it was creating a glowing circle above his head.

As they got down to a large pile of branches that had been gathered up by Grawp during the day, they circled around it. Hermione looked around and saw the others preparing to throw the torches in, so when they did, so did she.

The flames reached towards the sky and the heat warmed up Hermione's cheeks. Fire was such a beautiful wild and uncontrollable thing, it was hard not to be mesmerized by it.

After a few minutes Hermione heard the headmaster clear her throat and start to sing. "Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind. Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne." As McGonagall continued to sing Hermione could not help to be reminded of the old lady that during her youth had been in church for Christmas day each year when Hermione had been there with her parents. The woman used all of her lung power and with a shrill voice made the hymns bounce off the church walls in a way that was pleasant to no one, but humorous to most. One year the priest had tried his hardest to sing louder than her, but only ended up panting and with a red face after failing miserably.

Hermione tried to hide her smile, but just as she was straightening up after controlling her face a smooth voice was heard whispering to her left. "I draw back my earlier statement, the nagging would have been preferable."

Hermione's body started shaking from the giggles she was trying (and failing) to hold back. As she looked over at Snape, he had an innocent look on his face as he turned back towards the fire.

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If you push the review button you will dream about Snape tonight...well it is worth a try ;o)


	8. Chapter 8

Hey wonderful readers, I love you more and more for each day! :o)

Your encouraging words make me all giddy :o)

Now on to the next chapter that with the help of my beta Alex, aka xoRetributionox, look a lot better than it would otherwise!

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The day Snape had dreaded was now here. He had made an early start this morning to make sure that all was in place and that all was prepared. He felt sweat trickle down his back and just hoped that his feelings did not show. It was time now; it was the first day of school after the holidays.

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There was a constant buzz in the classroom. The Sixth Years had heard a rumor yesterday on the train that Snape was going back to teaching Defence Against The Dark Arts.

They had all had him as a potions professor for two years and then one as DADA professor. Those who were purebloods had had him as a headmaster as well for a year before the fall of Voldermort. They all had thought they knew the man. Then, after his release from Azkaban, they had been told he had been on the good side all along. Being told that and believing it was two different things though, and the only ones who had any positive memories at all of him were the Slytherins, and even then, what he had done had put many of their parents behind bars.

It was going to be a tough crowd.

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The classroom was dark; the sun was shining outside, but thick curtains were covering the windows. There was nothing on the walls but the bookshelves filled with books of all sizes next to the blackboard in the front of the class room.

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Cynthia Hollander, a petite blonde stood by the wall talking with a group of her fellow Ravenclaws. "My father says that Snape is only pretending to be good, that he somehow manufactured evidence of his innocence. And now he is supposed to teach us how to defend ourselves against the magic he has used on our community! It seems insane." Samuel Towers, a tall boy from Gryffindor, heard what Cynthia said and walked over to the group. "There is no one I trust as much at this school as Professor McGonagall. If she has rehired him I am sure there is no doubt in her mind that he was on our side all along. Your father works at the _Daily Prophet_ Cynthia, hardly the temple of truth now is it?" "Hey!" Cynthia replied. "It is not just my father who says this, everybody does." Samuel looked at Cynthia slightly condescendingly. "Yeah, because 'everybody' is always right. Not even the ministry admitted He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was back until he was standing inside their walls staring them in the face. The only ones we can trust are ourselves. And the writers at the _Prophet_ are the last ones I would listen to."

With a bang the door in the back of the classroom closed behind the emerging Professor, causing the room to fall immediately silent. His face was stern and his eyes piercing as he stalked towards the front of the classroom. His immaculate black teaching robes that had not been used for so long billowed in his wake as he lifted his wand straight up.

"Morsmordre!" From the tip of Snape's wand, a green light erupted and shot towards the ceiling where it hovered and formed a skull with a snake slithering out of its mouth.

Gasps were heard all over the room and shouts of fear pierced the air.

"Silence!" Snape shouted. As the sound died down he continued with a low voice. "This has been the mark that has inspired fear for so long. Where ever it was seen, we knew death was near. It has become the symbol of evil and it triggers immediate response. But you had all thought you would never see it again, that the world is safe, and reacted in fear.

If I do my job correctly you will not cower next time something similar happens. The only way to survive is to react on instinct and attack. It will not be this obvious next time though; we do not know in what shape evil will emerge next. You are fooling yourself if you think the world will continue to be safe for you.

We do not know who will be the next Morgana, Grindelwald or Voldermort, but trust me in this, there will be another, and another and another. There is too much greed, envy, and hate in the world for there not to be one. You must be prepared when it happens, and that is why you are here today. For those with enough intelligence and willingness to work harder than you ever have before, I will teach Occlumency, non verbal spells, and not just how to defend yourself, but how to attack. If you are not prepared to commit to that, leave this room immediately.

Nothing could be heard but silence and no one moved an inch but kept their eyes on their professor.

After a minute Snape again lifted his wand and made the floating skull evaporate.

"Pick up your wands and partner up, nobody leaves this room until they can cast a non-verbal Protego." As the students were busy moving the desks towards the walls Snape let out a small sigh of relief. He could do this.

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"I must have heard wrong Severus, because I thought I overheard some of my students whispering about you casting a dark mark in the classroom today. My hearing must be going, because I am sure that no professor of mine would ever do such a thing." McGonagall looked intently at Snape.

"Well Minerva, if you are sure no professor would do that, it must not have happened." Snape said calmly.

Snape and McGonagall walked together into the staffroom where the rest of the professors had gathered. Snape walked over to an empty chair next to where Hermione was sitting.

With a small smile on her lips Hermione leaned over and whispered. "Morsmordre, really? As far as I remember you do not really have to resolve to such tactics to get respect from a class. We hardly dared to breathe wrong when you looked at us." Snape glanced at Hermione and she thought she saw a twinkle in his eyes, but it must have been a reflection from a candle.

"I have no idea what you are referring to Hermione, I have always been such a gentle soul." Snape said with an even voice.

The bubbling laughter that erupted from Hermione made everyone in the room turn towards her. It had actually been the first time they had really heard her laugh since she had returned to the school.

It took her a minute or two to calm down. She could not understand how she could have missed for six years of being his student that Snape was so darn funny. His dry wit had been seen as evil sarcasm and only added to the picture of a miserable sod, when all the time it might just have been his own sense of humour.

McGonagall cleared her throat and spoke up. "I called this staff meeting because we have some things to discuss. I will start with the bad and then finish with the good so that we have a reason for heading down to the Three Broomsticks afterwards and celebrate.

First of all, the school board will be arriving here in a week. I have, after a few threats and a few bribes, managed to shorten down the visit to one day. They will be visiting most of the classes and inspecting the renovations. I thought that an extravagant lunch and dinner would distract them from noticing some of the crumbling corridors and rogue stairwells. We must remember how much we have accomplished. We came back to something almost resembling a ruin, and now most things run smoothly.

Now for the good news. You all know that Pomona is leaving us by the summer. I can pretend that I worked hard at replacing her and struggled for days on how to move forward to show how competent a leader I am, but actually my job was almost done for me. Pomona gave me a name of someone she recommended and I went to visit him today. I don´t think I even got the whole question out before he accepted. I am glad to announce that our new Herbology professor will be our own Neville Longbottom.

He will arrive here after Easter so that Pomona can show him what he needs to know, and then he will be in charge of the classes in September." The room filled with smiles and merry chatter as the short meeting ended.

Just as Snape was to leave, McGonagall called him back. "Walk with me Severus." she said and they turned towards the direction of her office. "The school board is not very happy with me for reinstating you. I know it is a lot to ask considering your less than sunny disposition, but you need to be on your best behaviour when they are here. It is just for one day, and I hope you agree with me that it is in both your and my best interest that things run smoothly then. I will go get my cloak now and then you are coming with me to the Three Broomsticks. After that I will allow you to try to get the better of me in what I am sure will be an epic game of chess."

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Reviews are like little pieces of chocolate, you always want one more... ;o)

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	9. Chapter 9

Time for another chapter! A huge thanks to my beta Alex, aka xoRetributionox, she finds things I have totally missed and make the story look a lot better.

What an experience this is, never had I thought I would enjoy the writing process as much as I do. The incouraging words especially from Aurette (who´s stories I assume you all read, if you do not, you so have to, she is the master of Snape/Hermione stories) and the awesome people reviewing on all my chapters makes my at the moment rather uneventful life have daily joys.

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It was the evening of the 8th of January and dinner in the Great Hall had just ended. Snape was speaking to McGonagall about needing a boggart for next week's classes.

When McGonagall walked over to discuss a recent problem with one of the hallways with professor Flitwick, Hermione walked up to Snape.

"So a little birdie dressed in headmistress clothes told me that you turn 40 tomorrow. How are you going to spend your birthday Severus?" Snape looked a bit baffled. "I had actually forgotten about it, but it is not something I ever celebrate." Hermione pondered what he said. "Then it is time to start. You should at least go out for dinner with friends." Snape frowned. "Well first of all I do not have many friends in case you had not noticed, and going out and watching people staring at Dumbledore's murderer would make me lose my appetite."

Hermione felt her heart drop, as much as she would like to tell him he was not right, she knew he was.

"Well," Hermione said resolutely, "then I will take you. Meet me outside the school gates at 7 pm and I will figure something out." Just as Snape was about to decline Hermione raised a hand and said "I will not take no for an answer, 7 o'clock Severus, and dress Muggle." She walked away and back to her quarters before Snape could argue with her.

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Snape arrived down at the gates exactly at 7 pm the following evening. He was dressed in a crisp white shirt and a black suit with a mandarin collar, similar to his ordinary robes but he could pass as Muggle. There a smiling Hermione was waiting for him. "Happy birthday Severus. I am taking you to one of my favorite Italian restaurants in Muggle London, they have a Lavender Crème Brulée that I too often sit and daydream about." Hermione suddenly looked a little nervous. "Since you do not know where we are going it would be best if you Side-Along apparate with me, I hope that is agreeable with you?"

"Certainly Hermione, it seems the only practical way of transport right now." Hermione looked up at the man in front of her and put her hand lightly on his shoulder. Snape stepped forward and put an arm around Hermione's waist, making their bodies touch each other. Hermione's breath hitched and she suddenly forgot why they were there. Snape smiled slightly and looked down on the young woman in front of him. "To London then Hermione?" Hermione blushed and, with a quick "Of course.", apparated them into an alley next to the restaurant Alloro. As they entered Hermione told Snape that she had reserved the restaurant's private dining room. They were showed into a small, tasteful room decorated in tan and brown colors that made it feel comfortable and intimate at the same time. A table for two was waiting for them as was a bottle of ten year old Amarone della Valpolicella Classico.

As they sat down, the waiter asked if they cared to see the menus or if they knew what they wanted to order. Snape looked at Hermione. "The lady surely knows what is good here, she can order for the both of us."

Hermione smiled and spoke to the waiter. "We shall start with Il vitello tonnato, then we will have Zuppa Pavese, followed by Consoletta di agnello con verza, and we shall finish with Crème brulée alla lavanda. I will leave it to your sommelier to choose wines that will go with the dishes." "Certainly madam" the waiter said as he exited the room.

"So you speak Italian Hermione?" Hermione smiled at this "I must say that I mainly speak food Italian, not so impressive but rather practical. I have always thought it to be a beautiful language and will hopefully learn more in the future than to be able to pronounce the Italian word for soup in a proper way."

From there on the conversation flowed freely, as did the wine. The food was exquisite and both of them enjoyed themselves immensely. Snape smiled more than he had in many years, possibly ever actually as he thought about it. There was just an ease to spending time with Hermione that he was not used to, and for once he was not looking for ghosts in every corner.

When they had finished the third course Hermione leaned forward and filled both of their glasses. "The last time I was here I was not old enough to drink wine, but now I can really appreciate their wine list. My parents would not let me have any before I turned 18." All of a sudden it looked as if a cloud had come over Hermione's face.

"Hermione, what happened with your parents? I have not heard you speak of them since I came to Hogwarts."

Hermione looked down on her hands and started to fidget with her little golden bracelet. After a minute or two she spoke up, but without lifting her head.

"As soon as the was was over I got the ministry to get me an international portkey to Moana Beach; it is down in the south of Australia fairly close to Adelaide. After I arrived, I headed straight to the small house that my parents had been renting. When I reached the door a different name was on the mailbox. I rang the doorbell and instead of my parents an elderly lady stood in the doorway.

Her name was Elizabeth Mead and she had been living there for 6 months. I asked her where the previous tenants Wendell and Monica Wilkins had moved. She got quiet for a bit at first and all of a sudden I felt an icy fear creep up my spine."

Hermione had to take a break before her voice cracked and took two long sips of wine. When she put her glass down her hand stayed on the table following the contours of the foot of the glass. Snape leaned forward and hesitantly put his big hand over hers and just kept it there. Hermione looked at the hand that more than covered hers and suddenly she felt stronger. She had not been able to tell anyone what had happened before beyond that they were gone. Now this man in front of her was the only one she could ever imagine telling her tale to, because she knew that he would understand and that he would not force her to saying anything she would not want to.

She drew a steadying breath and continued. "Mrs Mead asked me if I knew them, and I did not know what to say, so I mumbled something about being a family friend. She continued telling me how she was not sure exactly what had happened but that it had been all over the news about a year earlier. One of my parents' neighbours woke up one night to a terrible noise from my parents house. As he looked through his window he could see bright flashes of light of different color coming from the living room. Suddenly he heard a scream that pierced the night and just as sudden as it had started it stopped. The neighbour called the police and when they arrived they found what was left of my parents. Mrs Mead knew no specifics, but the newspapers had called it 'The Moana slaughter', so I guess one does not need more details than that."

The tears were streaming down Hermione's cheeks, but mixed in with the sorrow she felt relief, and in a way she felt stronger than she had in a long time. She turned her palm upwards so that she could hold Snape's hand. She looked up in his eyes and smiled. "Thank you for listening Severus. I am sorry for bringing the mood down though, this is no way for anyone to spend their birthday." She said as she wiped her tears away. Snape looked at the young woman in front of him; she was so strong and did not even know it. "I have spent many birthdays just reflecting on the fact that I was still alive, and I would say only about half of them being happy about it. This is the first one I can ever remember enjoying Hermione. Now, I think you mentioned something earlier about a Lavender Crème Brulée? I must say I am intrigued."

After that the discussion turned to lighter subjects such as books and the foolish things their students had done in the last few days. The evening went by quickly and all of a sudden the time had come to leave. After Snape refused to let Hermione pay for the dinner he had tried to pay with Muggle money but gave up and just put all that he had in his pocket on the little tray that the check had arrived with. Hermione smiled and commented that the server would be happy indeed to get a tip larger than the cost of the dinner.

As they walked back to the alley where they could apparate, Hermione felt lighter of heart than she had for several years. When they were out of sight from the street Hermione turned towards Snape. "I guess there is no need for side along apparition now, I assume you could find the gates of Hogwarts by yourself." She said with a small smile.

Snape considered her statement for a second "I am sure I can, but I would be remiss in my duties as your escort for the evening if I let you apparate after having several glasses of wine. The possibility of splinching is quite a bit higher when intoxicated. I insist that you apparate with me." With that he reached out and took Hermione in his arms and apparated away.

They strolled together up to the castle and Snape walked Hermione to her quarters. Outside her door she turned towards Snape to bid him goodnight but suddenly felt tongue tied. Snape looked down at Hermione and spoke first. "I want to thank you for tonight, it was quite pleasurable, and I thoroughly enjoyed your company. And that is something that rarely happens to me." Hermione smiled and replied, "I am so glad you enjoyed it, I really did too. I hope that we can do it again sometime, I owe you a dinner since you did not let me pay for this one. I will bid you goodnight now though Severus, in just a few hours we will both have students with us that will expect us to teach them something."

"Indeed," Snape replied, "one has to be well rested to battle the dunderheads, you never know when they will do something foolish and we have to be alert at all times. When I had your friend Mr Longbottom as a student I made sure to even have a lie in before a potions class with him. Preparation is key."

Hermione laughed merrily, and as she was about to turn around and head into her room she changed her mind. Before she could talk herself out of it, she stood up on her toes and gave Snape a very light kiss on his lips. "Good night Severus. I will see you at breakfast." Hermione went into her room and closed the door. She leaned her back to it with a smile on her face. She had no way of knowing that a dumbstruck Snape was still standing just two feet away from her outside the door slowly lifting his hand up to his lips.

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I have a bit of a headache, but I have a feeling getting reviews will take it away. Care to try that theory out with me ;o)


	10. Chapter 10

If someone had told me a month ago when I started to write this my first fanfiction that I would now have over 10.000 hits on this story and readers from every continent in the world I would have laughed and said that is a bit much to hope for and that I would be happy with anyone at all reading it. Overwhelming...oh yes, do I love you all, oooohhhh yes! :o)

Thanks to my lovely beta Alex, aka xoRetributionox, who makes sure that you do not get sentences that are 12 lines long :o)

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In the days following his birthday, Snape walked around lost in thought even more than he was used to. What he just could not figure out was what Hermione had meant with that little kiss. There had surely been a lot of wine involved and a part of him expected her to look repulsed the day afterwards. But she had just waved to him when he came into the great hall for breakfast and then continued to chat with Professor Barnson about what sounded like fox machine paper or something like that. The things muggles came up with! There were quite enough foxes in the world without them having to make more, and why on earth would they want to make them out of paper? Surely they would not be able to walk without magic anyway.  
Anyway, Hermione did not seem to be repulsed or angry about what had happened that night. His limited knowledge of women in general made it very hard for him to read her, but as far as he could tell she seemed to not have changed her attitude towards him in any way. Most curious.  
They often chatted about their classes or the books they had recently read and it was all very friendly. However, she never made a reference to what had happened at the end of that night. He found himself not wanting her to either, because of course she would only say it was a mistake that came about after too much wine and a lovely evening. At least, he thought it had been lovely; how could he know what she thought? It also annoyed him that he wanted her to have had a good time, why should it matter really?

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Hermione discreetly looked at Snape as he walked towards his quarters after dinner. It had been 5 days since his birthday, and her thoughts had been a jumble since then. Her last minute kiss was at the forefront of her thoughts most of the time. If she only knew what he thought about it. Had she been too forward? He was such a private man and perhaps he thought she had stepped out of line and into his personal space. He was pleasant enough, for Snape that is, when they had talked over the last few days. Yet the former ease of their conversations was gone and he seemed to measure her. She had decided to be very casual so that he would not be scared off or think that the kiss had meant anything more than a moment of gratitude or a result of a little too much wine. The truth was that in the moment she had not known why she had done it beyond that she wanted to, but afterwards all she had thought was that she wanted to do it again. She shook her head, clearing the thoughts away. She would not let her foolish mind go there anymore. Why would a man like Severus be interested in any way in a young chit like her?

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"Ok, it is D-day everyone. If we just get through the next 12 hours or so the drinks will be on me tonight." McGonagall nervously said as they all sat in the staff lounge. It was early morning still, but the board of governors would be arriving at any time.

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Snape had just begun the class for the second year Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors when a pudgy little man entered the classroom. "Excuse me Professor Snape, I am Daedalus Scroffney." The man said in an odd nasal voice. "Please continue, do not let me disturb. I am just here to observe." Scroffney walked up the bookshelves and perused the titles.

With an annoyed expression, Snape turned back to the students.

"Today you will learn of Vampires. They are also known as Kyūketsuki in Japan, Strigoi in Romania, Vrykolakas in Greece, and Strzyga in Poland. There are a few of them that have managed to weasel into civilized society, pretending they aren't blood sucking leeches that will get the better of you if you turn their back on them." Some whispering was heard from the corner of the classroom. In a second Snape stood in front of the two girls that had let their attention slip, they looked terrified as they expected to get shouted at. Instead Snape kept his cool, but after counting to ten in his head." Fifteen points from Gryffindor, and I do not know who this Edward is that you spoke of, but there is no such thing as a vegetarian vampire. Trust me, if you meet one in the dead of night you will have to fight them. Garlic and holy water will not help you, it is just superstition probably started by the vampires themselves to make humans feel protected and let their guard down. What is true though is that they can be killed by a stake to the heart. It must stay lodged in there though or they might spring back to life again. The best way of making sure they do not come back is to behead them or burn them. They will be faster, stronger and more silent than you, so remember not to let them sneak up on you, or you will become very unwilling blood donors."

"Eh, excuse me Professor Snape." Scroffney raised his hand awkwardly as if he was a student. The man looked a little worried.

"Yes Mr Scroffney?" Snape replied trying his best not to snap at the man.

"Well Professor Snape, it is not very politically correct to call the vampires 'blood sucking leeches'. The Ministry is very concerned about the children not growing up prejudiced and since I am a member of the Wizengamot as well as the board of governors I would be remiss if I did not mention this and..." Scroffney stopped at the sight of the intense stare that the professor was giving him.

Snape took a breath and counted to ten once again, decided that it was not enough and continued to twenty. In his head he told himself that hexing the man would not lead to anything good no matter how much he wanted to. So instead he answered "Thank you Mr Scroffney for your _valuable _input." He then slowly turned around to the class again. "Well students I guess we should all remember that when we meet a vampire next time. I am sure there must be some kind of politically correct term to call a vampire when it is trying to rip your limbs from your body so that it can devour your blood. I shall have to get back to you on that though."

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Hermione's transfiguration class was not going much better. Lucretia Barbicle, a witch who looked like she had stepped straight out of Witch Weekly's glamorous housewives issue, was the one observing. She kept interrupting Hermione with irrelevant questions like wasn't she a bit young to take care of a class all by herself, and could Hermione perhaps make sure that Harry Potter would show up at Lucretia´s next charity ball. Hermione tried not to listen since the class took every opportunity to make mischief as soon as her attention slipped. But the woman would just not give up. Hermione kept glancing at the hourglass on her desk hoping the time would go faster.

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When lunch finally came a veritable feast was on the tables. There was a nice surprise for everyone there as well. Professor Flitwick had finally managed the spell to fix the ceiling and they all looked at it, in awe of how beautiful it was again. The sun was shining outside and a beautiful warm light filled the hall. Hermione walked over to Flitwick. "It looks marvelous Filius, I am so glad you found the right combination of charms. Seeing the ceiling like this makes things seem so much more normal in a way, like there is one more thing that we have taken back from those who tried to bring us down." Flitwick had a huge smile on his face "I agree with you Hermione, but I can not take all the credit. Snape actually came to me yesterday telling me about a certain type of stasis charm he had read about and that he thought it could be applied to the other charms in the ceiling. The problem had been that I could not keep up the transparency, but with the alterations he suggested it worked wonders."

McGonagall held a short speech welcoming the members of the board of governors before they all dug in.

The afternoon passed in the same way as the morning. The board members seemed to want to poke and prod at everything and asked about the smallest details. As annoying as it was, time passed and after a dinner that was even bigger than the lunch it was time for the board to leave.

As Hermione walked towards the doors of the Great Hall, on the way to her quarters to pick up a cloak before the short walk to Hogsmeade for the promised drinks, the senior member of the board, Ardent Habilus, walked up to her. Ardent reminded Hermione of Lucius Malfoy; the man looked like he spent more time every day staring into the mirror than Hermione did in a whole week, and if he turned his nose up any more he might drown if it started to rain.

"Professor Granger, I must say we are fairly satisfied with what you all have accomplished here. However, I do question the Headmistress´s decision to allow Severus Snape to come back. I for one am not convinced that the Wizengamot made the correct ruling in letting him out of Azkaban. I know you have been his student, does it not make you uncomfortable to have him around?"

Hermione whirled around and faced the man. Her face was red and her eyes piercing. "What gives you the right to judge him?" She all but screamed at the man in front of her. "Severus Snape is more man than you will EVER be! Without him we would all be under the reign of a madman and a mass murderer. As a pureblood you probably only sat in your great mansion waiting out the war while others like Severus actually fought in it. Now you reap the benefits of what he did for you and for all of us. And you DARE judge him!" Hermione spat out and determinedly walked away from the man who stood still in her wake with an open mouth, gobsmacked at the young woman's outburst.

What neither of the two had noticed was that a certain black haired professor had been on his way outside when he heard Hermione raise her voice. He had been standing in the doorway, enjoying immensely the conversation that he heard. He had not been so fiercely defended since his early schooldays, and that had been by a young, rather vain and fickle girl. Now in front of him a strong woman had declared him to be a hero. Even though he did not agree with Hermione on that point he still enjoyed the fact that she thought so highly of him. With a small smile on his lips he decided that he might come with the others to Hogsmeade after all.

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When researching for mythological creatures to find something good for Snapes class I found the funniest things for example did you know that there is a human-faced frog which guides the souls of the newly deceased to the graveyard or that there is a demon in the form of a burning ox cart with a human head. Or that there is something called a Fenghuang in China that is a Rooster-swallow-fowl-snake-goose-tortoise-stag-fish hybrid, I could not even begin to imagine what that looks like. Ok, end of silly rant, now push the Review button ;o)


	11. Chapter 11

Hello my lovely readers!

Since my beta Alex was faster than lightning with looking over this chapter you get it less than 24 hours after I finished it. Now I just have to start working on the next one... :o)

I guess I should once again remind you that I do not own anything and make no money out of my story. I would probably only use it on silly things like icecream and chocolate anyway so it is probably better for me and my wardrobe that I do not :o)

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Hermione was eating breakfast in the Great Hall as the owls were delivering the mail. She would never even consider subscribing to the _Daily Prophet_ after all the lies they had printed over the years, and she wasn't expecting anything else, so she was rather surprised when a silver colored owl swooped down over her seat and dropped a letter straight into her cup of tea. Hermione let out a small yelp as some scalding drops of tea splashed her hand. She quickly retrieved the letter from the cup. On the front she saw her name printed in an elegant script. As she turned the letter over she got a small crease between her eyebrows, because on there was a wax seal with a very ornamented _M_ on it. Hermione could not remember having any friends whose last name started with M.

Hermione opened the envelope and took out a single parchment.

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_London 16/2/2000_

_Miss Granger, _

_I hope this letter finds you well._

_I know what you must think of me after I treated you badly for so many years, but I have important information to share with you. I hope you will agree to have tea with me this afternoon. I can understand if you do not wish to come to the mansion as your memories of it are probably horrid, so I suggest we meet at The Leaky Cauldron at 4 pm. _

_I understand that you would be reluctant to meet me, but I assure you that you want to hear what I have to tell you._

_Best regards_

_Draco Malfoy_

_.  
_

Hermione put the letter down on the table and wondered what she should do. She was not fond at all of walking around Diagon Alley where so many would recognize her. It was true that Draco had been her tormentor for years, but what he did not know was that Hermione had heard things about him that was supposed to be confidential that put him in a bit of a new light. It seemed like the young man was actually trying to become a better person. Hermione put the letter in her robe and headed off to the Transfiguration classroom. If she was heading off to London this afternoon she might as well make sure she did not have to give herself detention for being late to her own class.

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Draco arrived at The Leaky Cauldron at exactly 4 pm. As he entered the pub he looked around the tables and finally caught a glimpse of some chocolate colored curls at the table furthest away from the door. As he walked over he straightened his shoulders. Draco didn't know how he would be received. He had not seen Hermione since the day of Voldemort´s defeat as he sat in the Great Hall with his parents. The young woman he now approached seemed to have aged years since then; the childish enthusiasm that he had witnessed through the years at Hogwarts appeared to be gone.

"Miss Granger, I am glad you agreed to see me." Draco saw Hermione rise up and extend her hand which he instantly took and shook it. "It feels awfully strange to be called Miss Granger by someone my own age, please call me Hermione." Draco saw a sincere smile on her face and relaxed instantly. He had become so used to most people in the Wizarding world regarding him with disdain now that a small smile was more than welcome and he felt at ease. But what he had to tell Hermione would not be easy.

"You must call me Draco then. As I said I am glad you would see me, it is seldom that anyone wants to these days." Draco sat down opposite Hermione and ordered some tea and scones.

Hermione looked up at the young man in front of her. "I try not to judge others for past actions, and I know you are trying to change. I am aware that it is not common knowledge what you do, but I heard from Harry about the different charities you have set up. Please don´t get mad at Harry for telling me, I happened to see some of the documents that you had signed and felt I had to ask."

Draco looked down on his hands. "Don´t think too highly of me though Hermione, it is only a fraction of my fortune really, and I really did not want it to come out. I do not want people to think I am trying to buy myself back into society."

"Draco," Hermione said, "That you do not wish to make it known what you have done just makes it so much more worthy of respect. You are trying to change. So many others would not even think of it. However I would have liked to see peoples' faces if they knew that the boy who once called me Mudblood now finances a project to integrate parents of Muggleborn into our society. Now then, what was it that you wanted to speak to me about?"

The tea and scones arrived as Draco reached into his robes and took our a book. It was clad in black leather and a silver clasp held it together.

"I was looking through my father's things, getting rid of most of them, when I happened to find his personal journals. Only a Malfoy can open it and reveal the text inside, if anyone else does it shows only blank pages. I was looking through the five journals I found when I happened on a part that I feel I should share with you. I was not sure I would at first, but I think that sometimes it is better to know than not to. I talked it over with Severus, since he is the only one who would give me honest advice, and he told me that you are stronger than most people and deserve to know." Draco looked distraught and opened up the journal. Flipping through the pages he found the one he wanted. "Hermione, in this passage it says who killed your parents and why, you have to decide yourself if you want to read it or not."

Hermione felt her hands starting to tremble violently and tears welled up in her eyes. Draco gave her the book and after drying her eyes with a handkerchief that Draco quickly produced she began to read.

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_6 September 1997_

_It has been about three months since my son failed in killing Dumbledore. I need to find a way to get in the good graces of my lord again. Avery had an idea of how to rise in respect with the Dark Lord; he claimed that he had found the parents of Potter's Mudblood in another country, and that he was going to slay them to show his allegiance to our lord. He has not been in high standing after the debacle at the Department of Mysteries and had hoped to jump up a few pegs on the death eater ladder. I tried to get him to tell me where they were so that I could make it there before him. But Slytherin as he was he understood what I was trying to do. He left a few days ago to do the deed I assume, but this morning his body was found near his mansion, blasted to pieces really, it took quite a while to identify who it was. He had lain there for a day or two though so I have no idea if he manage to kill the blasted Muggles before the bloody Order Of The Phoenix found him. Well at least he will not be able to gloat, I am sure that I will be able to use his demise to my favour in some way..._

_.  
_

Hermione put the journal down on the table in front of her. The tears were streaming down her cheeks and she had to bite her bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

Draco looked worried and said in a low voice. "Perhaps I should not have showed you this. I did not want to hurt you, I hope you know that."

"No Draco, you did the right thing. I needed to know who had done it, it has been on my mind for so long that it has been eating at me. I am truly thankful that I finally found out. Thank you Draco. "

Draco took the journal and put it back in his robe. "I think a bit of tea would be good now, the food has improved vastly here since Hannah Abbot took over." Draco poured them both a cup and pushed the basket of scones towards Hermione. She took one and smeared some jam on it. As she started eating she felt better.

As they ate they started talking about what they were doing with their lives now. Hermione discovered that in spite of everything she knew about the man in front of her, she enjoyed herself. He was changing, and so was she. They had both realized the last few years that the world rarely was black or white, but rather colored in varying shades of grey.

"Hermione! Oh, it is you! It has been ages." a happy female voice called out. As Hermione turned around she saw Astoria Greengrass approaching. "Astoria, it is so good to see you." she replied. The two women had accidentally gotten to know each other right after the war. They had both been perusing the book shelves at Flourish and Blotts and before they knew it they had spent an afternoon together talking about books and Hogwarts. Astoria was two years below Hermione in school and was a Ravenclaw so they knew of each other but had never had an actual conversation before. After that first meeting they occasionally had met up for drinks but had not seen each other since Hermione had gone back to Hogwarts. Astoria came over and gave Hermione a hug. "I have missed our talks, we have to get together again soon." Hermione smiled back. "I agree, now that things are starting to settle down at Hogwarts I should be able to get away a bit now and then. I assume you remember Draco?" Hermione said as she gestured towards the blond man that had stood up next to them. "Yes, you know my sister Daphne well I think?" Astoria smiled at Draco and a small blush was seen on her cheeks. Draco´s thoughts were suddenly terribly jumbled and it took him a little while to answer. "Yes, we were both in Slytherin together, I do not think you and I have ever talked though." Draco remembered vaguely the younger Greengrass sister from school, but he always had so many things on his mind that he rarely paid attention to anyone outside his little circle in Slytherin. But now in front of him stood a vision with the most beautiful hazel eyes he had ever seen.

Hermione glanced back and fourth at the two people that simply stood there and looked at each other, and shook her head. With a smile and a barely held back snigger she decided that they might need a little time for themselves. "Why don´t you sit down here Astoria and I will be back in a bit, I have to pop into the back and see how Hannah is doing."

As if in a daze, Draco and Astoria both sat down at the table.

Hermione talked for quite a while with Hannah. She and Neville were to be married in July and then Hannah would move to Hogwarts. A floo connection was going to be arranged from their joint quarters directly to the Leaky Cauldron so that Hannah could continue to take care of the pub. Hermione was thrilled to have another former classmate living at Hogwarts. Hannah had been a part of Dumbledore´s Army as well so the two women knew each other rather well.

Time had ran away with her though, and it was was getting late. Venturing outside Hogwarts had actually not been that bad. A few people had looked at her and whispered about the golden trio, but it was bearable. As she looked back at the table where Draco and Astoria were still sitting, now speaking vividly and laughing, she got a big smile on her face. They did not even notice when she left.

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I was a Dramione fan when I first got on here on so I still have a soft spot for the blond lad, I really do want him to end up happy.

So the review button is a funny little thing, only about 1% of my readers use it and I am so darn curious what the other 99% think, even though I am terribly fond of my 1%, my 1% is awesome and I love you all! :o)


	12. Chapter 12

Nobody loves her readers and reviewers like I do! I wish I could get to know you all! :o)

Thanks as usual to Alex, aka xoRetributionox who makes sure to dot my i´s and cross my t´s :o)

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Snape was in his office correcting essays from the first year students. It seemed to him that the children got more and more stupid every year. Alexis Parnton had spent two feet explaining that Harpies are musical instruments with strings that the Muggle angels play. Yes, more stupid every year.

Snape had used up almost half a bottle of red ink when he heard a tap on his windowsill. Outside, he saw a majestic great horned owl. He opened the window and let the bird in. Snape picked up a piece of stale bread left over from breakfast and gave it to the owl as he took the letter it had brought. As he turned the letter over to see who it was from, he got a frown on his face.

"Is that boy never going to give up? Merlin help me. Insufferable annoyance!"

Snape opened the letter and his frown got even deeper as he read what is said.

_London 24 /2/2000_

_Professor Snape,_

_I am afraid I must meet with you as soon as possible. A situation has arisen that we must discuss . Please send a reply with Sage letting me know when you can see me. _

_Best wishes,_

_Harry Potter_

Snape sighed and, picking up a piece of paper, wrote down a reply. He might as well see what the boy wanted as soon as possible so that he could have it out of the way.

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Snape arrived at Grimmauld Place after dinner and knocked on the door. Harry opened the door at once and let him in. Snape thought the boy looked unusually serious.

"It is good you could see me so quickly." Harry said as he led the way through the hallway.

"Blood traitor, infidel, halfblooded dimwit!" The curtain in front of Mrs Black had opened and the volume of her voice was rather impressive.

"You have lived here for quite a while now Mr Potter, I would have thought you would have managed to get the shrew off the wall by now."

Harry smiled. "It is not for lack of trying. She is one persistent lady. You know though, I have gotten rather used to her and might even miss her if she was gone. Well perhaps not." Harry said as Mrs Black broke out into a whole new tirade of profanities.

They walked into the study and sat down in the two leather chairs that stood in front of the fireplace.

"I hope you have asked me to come here for a good reason, Mr Potter. If you wish me to speak to you about your parents I can tell you right away that it is a lost cause. What you found out from me when I thought I was dying is as much as you will know." Snape said in an stern voice.

"No that was not it at all." Harry said. "I am afraid that it is far more serious, it actually concerns my work to be honest. We have just found out some disturbing news about the last of the high ranking Death Eaters that is at large."

Snape frowned "Thorfinn Rowle, I assume. As far as I know he has not been caught yet. Evil bastard that one, enjoyed inflicting pain far too much. I have always detested the man. For him the rape and pillaging part of the war was what he enjoyed most. Well, and the Cruciatus, that was a particular favorite of his."

Harry looked down as he spoke "And apparently it still is. Yesterday he managed to find Draco as he was heading to Diagon Alley and managed to hold him under the Cruciatus for almost 10 minutes before someone caught him. I got back from St Mungo´s just before I sent you the note. Draco will be fine, but he told me some things that are very worrying."

Snape stood up abruptly. "I should go see Draco. I am the closest thing he has to family right now."

Harry stood up as well and put his hand on Snape´s arm. "Just wait a minute, you need to hear me out first. I promised Draco I would tell you as soon as I saw you."

Snape sat down impatiently and said "Well go on then."

Harry sat down as well and continued. "Draco told the other Aurors and me about the attack. It seems that Rowle has gone insane and is out on what he sees as a sacred mission. Apparently, he continuously repeated ´The traitors must bleed´. It seems he is targeting those that turned away from the Death Eaters at the end of the war. And if that is so, you must logically be his primary target."

Snape leaned back in the chair. "Since my teens someone has wanted to kill me, and no one has managed to do so yet. One deranged Death Eater will hardly bring me down."

Harry looked at Snape with a serious expression on his face. "I would still like to offer you protection by the Aurors until we have caught him. We believe he is responsible for murdering a family of Muggles last week and before that a wizard shop owner in Brighton. In all cases we had trouble identifying the remains. He seems to be capable of anything."

Snape stood up again. "Well Mr Potter, I do not want a bunch of Aurors disturbing me at all times so I will decline. I hardly think Rowle will try to get into Hogwarts anyway, it would be a suicide mission."

Harry followed Snape to the door. "I would not put it past him though, so please take care."

Snape looked affronted. "I always do, I am not alive because of sheer dumb luck." With that he inclined his head as a parting gesture and apparated away.

Harry stood on the doorstep for a while after Snape had left. He thought it had gone rather well all in all. He had had little hope that Snape would accept protection, but that the man had not used any profanities against him had to be seen as a step forward in their relationship. Harry smiled a little and then apparated to the Ministry of Magic to organize the hunt for Rowle.

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Snape stormed up to the front desk at St Mungo´s and scared the healer behind it half to death as he demanded to know where Draco Malfoy was. The frightened woman pointed towards a door and Snape walked over there and stepped into the room.

There were four beds in the room but only one was occupied. On a chair next to the bed where his godson lay was a young brunette who had apparently been reading aloud from a book. He glanced down on the title. "So Miss Greengrass, are you trying to force some culture into my godson? Something tells me he will have a hard time relating to Oliver Twist though." Snape smiled slightly at the girl who looked a little embarrassed.

Draco pulled himself up a little and turned towards Snape. "Don´t scare Astoria off Severus, her soothing voice works like a miracle on my recovery."

Astoria smiled brightly and put her hand on Draco's. "I will leave you and Professor Snape alone for a while. I will go down to the cafeteria and get us something highly unhealthy." She then stood up and left.

"I see things are looking up in spite of your condition Draco, you are looking far too well for someone that has endured prolonged Cruciatus. Here I thought I would find a broken boy, but instead find you flirting with what looks like a very attentive young woman. That must surely be a sign of recovery."

Draco smiled and replied cheerfully. "All in all my situation could be worse."

Snape sat down on the chair previously occupied by Astoria. "All kidding aside though Draco, tell me what happened."

Draco leaned back against the pillows. "There is really not that much to tell as I passed out rather quickly. I was on my way to meet Astoria for dinner when I was hit with a spell and struck down. As I lay on the ground, I saw Rowle towering over me. He had a frenzied look in his face and looked completely demented. He went on and on about how I had betrayed the Dark Lord's ideals and how I had to be punished and must bleed, and that all traitors would bleed in the end. After that he continuously cast the Cruciatus on me until everything went black. I have been told that Aurors arrived at the scene after a few minutes and got Rowle away from me, but he managed to escape and in the meantime make sure three Aurors ended up in a room next to mine."

Snape drew his hand through his hair and then looked at Draco. "You must not leave Malfoy Manor until the Aurors catch the bastard, the wards around the Manor are more than sufficient defense. If you need anything then send me a message and I will make sure you get it."

Draco smiled at his godfather. "Always the protector Severus, you do realize that you are as much of a target as I don´t you?"

"Well, that is different, I am responsible for you, not the other way around. Now stop arguing with me and get some sleep before your pretty girl comes back."

Draco blushed slightly "She is not _my _girl really."

Snape chuckled a little "Oh, I think the lady would disagree with that."

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A little drama on the way... :o)

Love you all!


	13. Chapter 13

Now time for drama inspired by an idea from the real life Drama queen Tanja aka Tanjaswed. Life is never dull with her as a friend :o)

As always thanks to my beta Alex, aka xoRetributionox!

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Some not so nice things ahead now, so if you are faint of heart, look away.

I hope you will enjoy...

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"Minerva, no. I have far more important things to do than to babysit a couple dozen hormonally charged teenagers high on sugar and newfound freedom." Snape looked right into McGonagall's eyes and hoped she would give in.

"Severus, don´t be childish. We all have to do it, and the only ones that are available to chaperone this Hogsmeade weekend are you and Hermione."

Snape paused for a second. "So Hermione is going as well?"

Minerva smiled. "Yes, and she did not argue with me like you are doing."

"Well then, I guess I might as well fill up on some supplies at the same time." Snape nodded to McGonagall and walked out of her office.

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It was a sunny day and it seemed like spring was truly on its way. Snape walked to Hermione's quarters and knocked on the door. He heard her telling him to come in and opened the door.

"I am just getting dressed, I will be right there." Hermione called from her bathroom.

Snape had to actively push away the picture in his mind of what a half dressed Hermione would look like. Instead he looked around the room. It was rather sophisticated actually. The walls were a warm mocha color with white trim and most of the furniture was white. There were a lot of flowers all over the room and the walls were full of pictures that Snape assumed were painted by Hermione. He walked over to the fireplace and looked at the many photographs in frames that stood there. In the middle was an old picture of Hermione's parents holding a little two year old with a big brown mop of hair on her head. They all looked so happy.

Hermione came out into the sitting room and Snape turned around. Hermione had put Muggle clothes on and was putting on a knitted hat with small knitted snowflakes that seemed to be falling.

"I have just rediscovered magical knitting, it is quite addictive actually. I am doing things for me now though instead of the house elves. Dobby really was the only one who appreciated it anyway."

Snape shook his head. "Well trying to free house elves does more harm than good. But that aside, are you ready for some dunderhead herding?"

Hermione laughed. "Yes I am ready to head out, I think that a bit of shopping and then a butterbeer or two will be just what I need today."

They walked together to the courtyard outside the castle and started to tick off the students from their lists as they came out from breakfast to head to Hogsmeade. When all had been accounted for, they strolled down towards Hogsmeade while discussing some of the latest inventions combining transfiguration with potions. Some of the compounds that had been made could be altered to fight off most diseases on a cellular level. So far it was only theoretical though. Snape was amazed that Hermione not only was interested in some of the same things he was, but was actually really knowledgeable on the subject.

When they reached the village Hermione headed off to the local branch of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes to see if George was there. In the meantime Snape stood in the square trying to figure out how to spend his time. They would not be able to go back for several hours yet so he had to do something. After a quick browse of the books at Tomes and Scrolls and purchasing some potion ingredients at Dogweed and Deathcap, he felt it was time for lunch and decided to go find Hermione to see if she was hungry as well.

Snape saw Hermione exiting Honeydukes with a rather large bag of candy that she shrank down and put in one of her pockets. "I have a terrible sweet tooth and need to stock up a bit now and then." Hermione said with a little bit of a guilty smile.

All of a sudden there was a huge explosion and Snape was thrown to the ground, hitting his head on the cobbled stones. For a second all he could see was black spots dancing in front of his eyes, but his fighting mode came on automatically and his wand was drawn and casting a Protego before he even got up from the ground. He could not see where the threat was and circled around. In the corner of his eye he could see that there had been at least ten people hit in the explosion, though thankfully none seemed to have lethal injuries as far as he could tell. But then he saw a knitted hat on the ground with snowflakes on it. "Hermione!" There was no answer. Suddenly it felt like all of his blood turned to ice. He frantically looked around to see where she could be. "Hermione!".

Snape heard people crying and those that could move hurried to get into the stores and away from the street.

"Severus Snape!" A deep voice was heard from the alley next to Dervish & Bangles.

Snape spun around with his wand raised. He was about to cast a spell when he saw the huge Rowle coming out on the square. But before he could uttered the word Stupefy he froze. In front of him Rowle held an unconscious Hermione. There was blood trickling from her nose and it looked like she had hit her head because her hair on one side was drenched in blood.

Rowle laughed menacingly and shook Hermione's body. "Looking for this Severus? A little bitch of a Mudblood, how low you have sunk you blood traitor."

Snape was desperately trying to find ways to subdue Rowle without hurting Hermione, but he could not think of a single one. He called out to Rowle. "I am the one you want, let the girl go and fight me like a man instead of hiding behind someone else."

Rowle just laughed and it started to sound hysterical. "It looks like you care about this one, how interesting;" Rowle pointed his wand to the head of the woman that hung in his arms. "Crucio!" Hermione´s body started convulsing and Rowle smiled from ear to ear. "Little dancing Mudblood. This is better than a waltz or tango, it is the dance of pain." Rowle´s eyes shone with insanity and he did not see his opponent slowly moving to the side so that he could safely hit the huge man.

But suddenly Rowle lifted the Cruciatus curse and again faced Snape. "I had decided to kill you today. I had my mind set on making you bleed and bleed until nothing was left, but I think I will play a little first. It is not everyday you find a new toy."

Snape raised his voice "Thorfinn, let her go. I will put my wand down if that is what you want, but put the girl down right now."

Rowle just smiled at Snape and clutched Hermione's body closer to him. "She is soft this one, there are many ways to use a Mudblood before casting it aside and I am sure I will enjoy myself immensely."

Snape threw himself forward in a last attempt to get to Rowle, but just as he was about to come within range and hit him with a spell, Rowle spun around on the spot and apparated away, still holding the unconscious Hermione.

For a short while all Snape could do was to stare at the spot where Rowle and Hermione had just been. Then he jumped into action and quickly sent off a Patronus to the castle.

He went back to where the explosion had hit to see if anyone needed immediate attention. Two students that had been hit were still outside. Both had injuries to their legs, but nothing that healing and a bit of Skele-Gro could not fix. He did everything automatically as if on auto pilot and was determined not to let his thoughts wander to what had left a cold pit in his stomach. There was nothing he could do right now by himself. For possibly the first time ever Snape knew he needed help.

McGonagall and the rest of the staff came running up to the square. They started to take care of the injured children and make sure that everyone was accounted for.

"What happened?" McGonagall asked Snape in a frantic voice.

"It was Rowle." Snape looked like the air had gone out of him as he stared down on the ground. "He was after me, Potter warned me a few days ago, but I did not take it seriously. And now..." Snape went silent for a few seconds. "Now he has Hermione. And it is all my fault."

McGonagall put her hand on Snape´s shoulder. "It is not your fault Severus, it was a deranged man's fault. We will get our Hermione back."

Snape slowly lifted his head, and in it McGonagall saw a manic glare. "When I find that son of a bitch I will rip his limbs off one by one and feed them to the Thestrals. I will make him beg for mercy before I end his pathetic existence."

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I am so curious to know what you think of this little twist.

Reviews is what gets me up in the morning! ;o)


	14. Chapter 14

Hello best readers in the world!

As always a massive thanks to my beta Alex, aka xoRetributionox!

It is probably time for a tiny statement again. I do not own Harry Potter, but oh my how I wish I did...the things I would do to Snape...Hrmmm, back to the statement... I make no money from writing and the world I am playing with belongs to JK Rowling.

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And the drama continues... :o) And yes, as Ann May said, I am a little evil ;o)

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Before she even opened her eyes, Hermione felt the pain in her limbs. Her head was pounding violently and her nerves were itchy as if they had been shocked. Her instincts kicked in and she decided to get her bearings before she did anything to draw attention to the fact that she had woken up.

She was lying on a wooden floor with her back towards a wall. She listened for a minute for any kind of sound, but heard nothing. As she carefully opened her eyes she saw that she was in an empty room. Looking up at the wall behind her she noticed that there was no window in there. The only light in the room came from a small opening in the middle of the door. It was too small to be a possible escape route.

Hermione slowly stood up, careful not to make any noise. The walls were built from big wooden logs and the place looked like it had possibly been a hunting cabin once. But now the room she was in appeared to not have been used for many years; layers of dirt and dust covered the floorboards. The only footprints she could see were the ones she was currently making, and a pair that was almost twice the size of her feet. She had no idea who had taken her, or where she was, but she knew she was in serious danger.

Hermione went over every surface of the room but found no weakness that could be exploited for a possible escape attempt. She felt an almost crippling fear creep up her spine but determinedly pushed it away. To be frightened just led to inaction, and that too often led to death in the world she had spent so many years in during the war. This was no time to give up. She had fought before, and she could do it again.

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Snape stormed in to the tactical plan room at the Auror Office. Several of the Aurors jumped up and drew their wands.

"Hold on!" Harry shouted as he came in after Snape. "Professor Snape is here to help us with the Rowle situation. No one knows the bastard as well as the Professor does and he can be of invaluable help to us."

The Aurors lowered their wands, but most of them continued to look skeptical.

Neville Longbottom walked up to Snape and held out his hand. "It is good to see you Professor, and I am glad you are on our side. We need all the help we can get if we are to get Hermione back to us in one piece."

Snape took the young man´s hand and shook it. "I will do what ever I can Mr. Longbottom."

Harry went over to the head of the big table that stood on the far side of the room. The others took their seats around it as Snape went to stand behind Harry.

Harry took out a piece of paper. "On here is the Minister of Magic's approval to let Professor Snape in on all of our plans and to make all of our resources available to him. The floor is yours, Professor" Harry said as he let Snape step forward to speak to the gathered Aurors.

"I will not make this more complicated than it has to be. Few of you like me, and I like even less of you so I will not waste my or your time by trying to make nice. Thorfinn Rowle was never a top contender for the right hand of Voldemort simply because his hunger for power was a lot smaller than his lust for chaos. Rowle was the bull of the Death Eaters, the one you sent in to make sure there were no survivors and that no mercy was shown. He was an excellent tool when you needed information from someone because of his passion for torture. He hates losing and that might have been what tipped him over the edge in the end. He was at Hogwarts when Dumbledore...when Dumbledore died." Snape looked down for a second before he continued. "He was hit in the face with a spell by Mr. Potter here and he was so upset by it that when he ran to where he could apparate away he set Hagrid´s hut on fire and then cast the Cruciatus on Potter. Destruction always make him calm down. When we find out where he is we will have to come in force and hopefully surprise him, He is an expert duellist so we must not underestimate him because he seems to have gone insane. Voldemort's insanity just made him stronger, who knows if the same goes for Rowle. Who is your best tracker?"

"That would be me." A tall man with a ponytail stood up.

Snape looked at the man. "Yes, Williamson isn´t it? Go back to Hogsmeade and try to pick up the magical imprint from Rowle´s apparition. It might show us in what part of the country to look at least."

Williamson looked briefly at Harry, who nodded, and then he left.

Snape turned towards the table again. "I have, as the expression goes, 'friends in low places' and have sent out a message that we are looking for Rowle, I hope it will give us a lead soon.

He will be hiding somewhere remote, probably in an area where there are only Muggles so that he would not be recognized. He..." Snape had to pause for a while. "He likes to take his time with his victims, so the possibility exists that Hermione, Professor Granger, is still alive."

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Hermione spent an hour or so going over the walls and the door for any kind of weakness, but had found nothing. The only sounds she had heard were the creaks that came with an old building.

There was nothing on the floor but dead leaves and dirt, nothing that Hermione could use to defend herself.

The little light that came in through the glass in the door was dimming and Hermione assumed the evening was coming closer. In an hour or so it would be pitch black.

She felt naked without her wand and was not sure how she should proceed.

Suddenly she heard something. It sounded like a door had opened and closed in another part of the building. Hermione went to stand next to the door to try and hear what was going on. She heard heavy footsteps moving a few rooms away. It seemed like the person attached to those feet was looking for something because it sounded like cupboards were opened and closed and their contents thrown down on the floor. When it finally quieted down she strained to hear what was happening. Just as she was about to relax a little, she heard the footsteps again and they were coming closer. She had just enough time to back away from the door and put her back against the opposite wall before the door was thrown open.

Since all of the light came from behind the person now standing in the doorway, all Hermione could see that who ever it was was a man, and he was huge.

"So little scared rabbit is hiding in the corner." A deep voice said. Hermione did not recognize the voice at all, but it made her skin crawl. There seemed to be something off with it.

"Lumos!" The wand of her captor lit up and Hermione could see his face. The man was blond and had piercing blue eyes that looked deranged. She could recognize him now. "Rowle."

The man´s smile got bigger and he nodded slightly. "I had hoped you would remember me, after all you tried your best at erasing the memory of you and your little boyfriends in that café on Tottenham Court Road. But the excessive amount of Cruciatus I received by that brat Malfoy ordered by my Dark Lord made the memory jump back again. You three made fools out of myself and Dolohov that day, and I am so glad I can repay you now."

Hermione´s heart started beating faster and faster. She knew that there was no way she could overpower Rowle, especially not without a wand. What ever this man had planned for her, there was nothing she could do to stop him.

Rowle took a step forward and raised his wand. "Petrificus Totalus!"

Hermione felt her entire body go completely stiff and she fell against the floor.

Rowle walked over to Hermione, knelt down, and turned her over on her back. He lifted a lock of her hair and took a sniff on it. "Mmm, lovely, even Mudbloods can smell good." Rowle started to laugh in a most unpleasant manner, then leaned down and put his mouth next to Hermione's ear and whispered "You and I are going to have so much fun together my little toy."

Hermione could only lay there and the terror inside her built up more and more. She was completely helpless.

Rowle stood up again and walked back and fourth for a while in the small room. "It is awfully quiet in here is it not? I so like a little noise, especially screaming. Finite Incantatem!"

Hermione could move again and decided she might only get this one chance. She threw herself up and rushed towards the door. But before she reached it Rowle grabbed her by the hair and yanked her back so that she fell down on the floor.

"Toys are not supposed to run away from you, they are to wait until their master wants to play with them. I will have to punish you now." Rowle said with glee. "Crucio!"

Hermione did not even have time to register what was happening before the pain ripped through her, causing her body to convulse. She screamed until it felt like her voice was going to give out. It went on for what seemed like an eternity before her mind finally shut off and she blacked out.

Rowle walked over to the unconscious Hermione and poked her with his foot to see if she was passed out or not. When he got no response he smiled wickedly. "Bad toys have to be punished so they learn their place." With that he walked out of the room and locked the door behind him.

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I feel good about the little plot twist, but what do you think? Reviews are like a light summer rain, makes me all giddy :o)


	15. Chapter 15

Hey best readers in the world! Here comes the continuation to the drama, and some billowing, I know you love it ;o)

As always a great thanks to my beta Alex, aka xoRetributionox!

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Snape was pacing back and forth in the Auror Office. It had been almost 12 hours since Hermione had been taken and it was driving Snape insane that he could not do anything to help her since he didn't know yet where to look.

Williamson entered the room and Snape walked up to him. "What did you find?"

The Auror lowered his gaze. "I could only narrow it down to somewhere in Cornwall, but nothing more than that. It seems that Rowle knows how to cover his magical signature."

"I guess it is a start." Snape said in a subdued voice. "Let's get some maps of Cornwall in here."

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Snape was standing over the maps with Harry, Ron, and an Auror named Travers.

Ron was going through possible tactics for their mission, depending on whether Rowle was hiding in a forest, in a town or on the coast when there was a knock on the door.

Williamson stepped inside and turned towards Snape. "There is a man here that wants to see you, he says that it is urgent."

Snape walked quickly over to the door and stepped outside where he saw a pudgy little man waiting for him. Snape turned towards Williamson. "Is there anywhere Mr. Umbra and I can go to talk in private?"

"Yes of course, you can take my office over there." Williamson pointed towards a room and Snape and the other man went in there and shut the door behind them.

Williamson walked into the tactical room to see if he could be of any help.

"Who was that?" Ron asked.

Williamson shook his head. "Snape called him Mr Umbra, but I have no idea who he is. He looked like he came straight from Knockturn Alley."

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Snape turned towards the man that had joined him in the office. "Thank you for coming. I assume you have news for me?"

"Yes, I do, but we should discuss the small matter of payment first." The man sat down in the chair behind the desk. Snape moved in a flash and stood over Umbra with the wand against his throat before he had time to react. "You will tell me right now you maggot, or I swear that you will not live to see the sunset." The fury in Snape´s eyes was tangible and all Umbra could do was nod.

"Where?" was all that Snape said as he moved away from the man.

"A little cottage in a place called Dunmere Wood in Cornwall. He has wards around the place but one of my...associates spotted him in the area and found out where he was."

Snape got all of the specifics out of Umbra and then tossed him a small bag of galleons before walking out of the office.

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Snape stalked into the tactical room with his robes billowing behind him and a determined look on his face. He walked up to the map and pointed to where the cabin was located.

"We will move at once. We will set up two teams, one will come in from the front and one from the back. It will be daylight soon and I would like to get there before we lose the cover of darkness. Savage, Weasley and Williamson you come in from the back and Potter, Longbottom, Proudfoot, and I will come in from the front. We apparate to the edge of the small woods right here." Snape pointed at a clearing about a half a mile from the cabin. "He will know we are there when we get closer since his wards will tip him off, so we will have to move as quickly as possible so we do not lose the element of surprise. The first one that gets the opportunity goes into the cabin to get Professor Granger and the rest keep Rowle busy until one of us can take him down. Let's go!" All of the Aurors followed Snape out the doors to where they could apparate.

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They arrived about an hour before dawn and immediately split up into the two groups. In five minutes they would simultaneously attack.

Harry walked up to Snape. "She is going to be fine Professor."

"Of course she is, I would not allow it to be otherwise." Snape said as they drew closer to the wards.

"Weasley will send the signal when they are ready to go in, then we move at once." Snape told the others. They were all standing with their wands drawn, ready to spring into action.

The seconds were moving by painfully slowly, but suddenly a green light lit up the night sky.

"Now!" Snape shouted and they all rushed towards the cottage. In two quick wand waves Harry dissolved the wards.

As they came within spell range, they spread out in a line and closed in on the cottage.

It was a rather large log cabin with a thatched roof. The garden had long since been left to its own devices.

"Window on the right!" Proudfoot shouted as he spotted Rowle through the glass.

They all aimed their spells at the blond man and the window was blown out in a second. Rowle ducked inside and shot out as many hexes as he could. At the same time he was laughing manically.

Snape sent a hex that Rowle barely had time to dodge and one side of his face got singed. "Snape you traitorous bastard, was that you? I am going to blow you away and then dance on your entrails while I play with your little Mudblood toy!"

Snape had to restrain himself from rushing into the house and tearing the man apart with his hands. He had to be patient though, he could see the others coming closer from the back without Rowle noticing.

All of a sudden there was a terrible cry that pierced the night. Neville had been hit by a slicing hex and he was down on the ground. Blood was gushing out of his chest and he was gasping for air. Snape yelled to Potter and Proudfoot to cover them and ran over to his former student.

Snape started saying incantations and the wounds began to close up. Neville had lost a lot of blood though and Snape was a little worried to be honest. "Hang in there Longbottom, I have not saved you from a myriad of exploding cauldrons to have you die about a month before you become my colleague."

Neville weakly smiled up at Snape. "Yes, Professor."

Snape took up a pebble, pointed his wand at it, and said "Portus". He gave it to Neville who immediately disappeared to arrive a few seconds later at St. Mungo´s.

Snape rose slowly and turned towards the cottage. His face was stern and determined. Harry and Proudfoot were sending off as many spells as they could, but it seemed like the walls of the cottage were magically enhanced and the only target they had was the small window.

Snape just continued forward infuriated, casting Protego when Rowle tried to stop him. Eventually he reached the door and with a shouted "Confringo", the door was blasted to pieces.

Snape ran into the room where Rowle was standing and they faced each other.

Rowle smiled wickedly as he pointed his wand towards Snape. "So the traitor has come for a visit, perhaps you would like some tea? Actually I think I prefer that you die instead, would that work for you?" Rowle sent off several hexes that Snape easily diverted with protective spells.

Snape sneered at the huge man in front of him. "This is the end of the line Rowle, there is nowhere to go from here. It is just you and me, and in a minute or two, I will be the only one. I had left your world behind, but you had to drag me into it again, and for that you will pay with your life. No Azkaban for you, no mercy, no quick end."

Rowle laughed and stared intently at Snape. "And how are you to manage that?" Just as he finished the last word Snape threw himself forward and shouted "Sectumsempra!" Gashes appeared all over Rowle´s body. For a second the blond man stood perfectly still and then looked down on his body. His eyes widened and blood poured out of every limb before he fell straight backwards.

Snape walked up to the man who was now choking to death on his own blood and looked down on him with a sneer. "I have never taken pleasure in killing anyone, but this time it was close." he spat out.

Suddenly Snape heard Ron calling out "I have found her!" Snape turned around and ran towards the voice. He saw Harry standing in the doorway to the room the farthest away and assumed that is where she was. He pushed past Harry and went into the room. There he saw Ron kneeling next to an unmoving Hermione that lay on the floor. Snape rushed over and sunk to his knees next to the young woman. He put his fingers on the side of her throat and could feel a faint pulse. He exhaled heavily and felt like all the air had gone out of him. Gently he stroked away the stray locks of hair that had fallen onto Hermione's face before he put one arm behind her neck and one under her knees. He stood up with Hermione in his arms and apparated away to St. Mungo´s.

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Tadaaa, Snape to the rescue!

To show appreciation for the Billow, review ;o)

Love you all!


	16. Chapter 16

Hello my fantastic readers!

I have been totally overwhelmed by the wonderful support for my story, the amount of reviews and readers have totally baffled and humbled me. I owe you so many thanks.

Now after all the actionpacked drama it is time for something a bit less intense. :o)

I have outlined all of the chapters and it will be 20 all in all, I am excited to see what you will think of the end of my story and will have to get on with the writing of them as soon as possible :o) The idea of writing lemons has me giggling like crazy though... We shall see how that goes...

Thanks as always to Alex aka xoRetributionox for betaing away my sometimes strange grammar and irratic punctuation.

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Snape thought he heard movement and opened his eyes, but it seemed nothing had changed. He straightened up in the uncomfortable chair and felt his stiff joints complain. It had been four days since he had arrived with Hermione in his arms shouting at the healers to help him.

Hermione had been kept in a medically induced coma so that the nerves would have a chance to recover after the damage done by the extensive Cruciatus. She would wake up by herself when she had recuperated enough according to the healers, but the wait was agonizing to Snape. To watch her hour after hour laying there pale as her bed linen was wearing him down. He had not left her side except to go to the bathroom. He had become obsessed with checking on her breathing and making sure that the pulse was steady, quite unnecessary since the healers had everything in under control. But he felt he had to do something.

Suddenly Snape saw Hermione's hand move, and just after that her eyes opened. They looked so sleepy and disoriented. Hermione turned her head towards Snape. "Severus?" She asked in a hoarse voice.

"Yes Hermione, it is me. I will go get the healer." Snape said as he quickly rose up.

"No, wait a moment." Hermione put her hand on Snape´s arm to stop him from leaving. He sat down again and faced her.

Snape seemed so tired to Hermione, she had never seen him look so exhausted before. Considering he had gone through two wizarding wars as a spy, that was really saying something.

"What happened Severus? The last thing I remember was being in a cabin with a very disturbed Death Eater." Hermione said.

Snape leaned back in the chair and looked at Hermione. "The Aurors and I found out where you were and went in right away. Rowle was taken down and your friend Mr Weasley found you unconscious in a room. After you got here the Healers checked you out and decided to keep you asleep until the damages to your nerves from the Cruciatus had healed. It is a rather painful process otherwise. "

Hermione sunk back against her pillows. "How long have I been here?"

"You have been here for four days now. The healers claim you will be fully recovered shortly." Snape answered in an even voice.

"Did anyone else get hurt when you got me out?" Hermione suddenly got a worried look on her face.

"Longbottom was hit by a hex but should be fine in a week or two, he is a couple of rooms away from you. Weasley got a bit burned, but that was fixed up directly afterwards. They are both Aurors, it is nothing they have not gone through before. It is not the safest of professions. At least Longbottom is getting out before he starts to look like Moody did. One eye and a wooden leg looks good on no one."

Hermione leaned back on her pillows. "Thank goodness they are going to be fine. I do not know what I would do if something really bad had happened to them because of me. I am so thankful for what you have done Severus."

Snape stood up suddenly and interruped her. He had a fierce scowl on his face and his voice was cold. "No, do not thank me! You would not have been in this position if it had not been for me! I might as well have put the Cruciatus on you myself, it is basically the same." Snape raised his voice and was close to screaming. "Everyone that comes close to me gets hurt eventually. I should be a fucking pariah. I am a walking, breathing curse, and you should stay as far away from me as possible if you know what is good for you. I almost got you killed!" With that he all but ran out of the room.

"Severus, please!" Hermione shouted after the exiting Snape, but before she could get anything else out of him the door slammed behind him and she heard rapid steps walking away from her room.

Hermione's cheeks were soaked in tears. How could the man think so ill of himself? She could not understand that. Her heart ached for the man who was so tormented that he could not see his own value, or how much he had come to mean to her. Hermione was wiping her cheeks when she froze from a sudden revelation. She did not only care about Severus, somehow in the last few months, she had fallen in love with the man. It had slowly crept up on her, and she had not recognized the signs since so much was going on in her life. But now she knew without a doubt that Severus was the only man for her. It was not a schoolgirl crush where one only saw the good sides of a person and glorified all that they were. She knew both the good and the bad of Severus, and accepted all of it, and would not want him to be anything else but the complicated, intelligent and fascination man that he is. But would he ever want to even see her again, after how he just acted?

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Hermione had just had lunch when there was a knock on the door. In a second she saw a smiling redheaded woman coming in followed by her fiancé.

"Ginny, Harry, I am so glad you are here!" Hermione smiled and embraced her friends as they came up to her.

Ginny sat down on the side of the bed as Harry took the chair that Snape had occupied only an hour ago.

"It is so good to see you awake finally, it was so frightening to sit here with you when you were still unconscious." Ginny said.

"I saw the flowers from you. Thank you, they are beautiful." Hermione gestured towards a table that was filled with flowers and cards from pretty much everyone she knew and then some.

"Oh that reminds me of what I brought for you." Ginny exclaimed and took a small parcel with brown paper from her cloak and enlarged it. "I went by Flourish and Blotts and got a few books for you. I brought a bunch of issues of Witch Weekly last time I was here, but Snape sneered at me and said that someone with a brain like yours needed something more intelligent than the inane scribblings of third rate writers who awaits the second coming of Lockhart as the most anticipated thing ever. I thought it to be best to get you some proper litterature so I would not have house points taken away from Gryffindor even though I am not in school anymore." Ginny laughed together with the other two.

Hermione looked up at Ginny. "You said Severus told you that, was he here then too?"

Harry cleared his throat and smiled a little. "So it is Severus now is it? He has been here since he brought you in and has not left your side. He has done plenty of scowling to your visitors while you were unconscious. He seemed to have appointed himself your personal guard dog, but I am not sure his bark is worse than his bite, especially after not really sleeping the last four days, the man´s temper has been worse than usual. I had assumed he would be here now actually."

Hermione looked puzzled. " He was here when I woke up, but left, rather abruptly. He said nothing about him having stayed here though, I thought it was just a coincidence that I woke up while he was visiting."

"No" Ginny said. "He has been harassing the healers and walking back and forth in this room and checking on you continously since you got here. He has driven the healers up the walls really, they are all terribly frightened of him."

Hermione considered this and could not really make sense of it all, the furious man who left her room a little while ago is not someone she would have expected to have stayed with her so faithfully.

"I know he helped the Aurors but did not know how much he had done for me." Hermione said.

Harry gave up a short dry laugh. "He said he helped us? I would claim it was the other way around, we gave him assistance, but finding where you were and planning the attack, that was all Snape's doing. He was quite formidable actually, and the way he brought Rowle down was very powerful indeed. I never thought we would be able to get inside the cabin, but Snape somehow managed to break down the door. It should not have been possible considering the spells that Rowle had put on the house and the grounds, but Snape blasted through it while making it look like child´s play. I could use someone like him as an Auror, but I can´t imagine he would be interested in that. He just barely accepts me now that he meets me, I don´t think he would appreciate having me as his boss." Harry smiled and his high thoughts of Snape shone through. He really did think the world of the man that in so many ways had ensured the fall of Voldemort.

Hermione had dozens of thoughts in her head at once. At the forefront was the realization of what Snape had done to make sure she was safe. The man that only a few months ago would have been best described as broken and an alcoholic had now in all his glorious power rescued her from a fate that was too terrible to think of. She decided that while she would not want to scare the man away, she had to make her feelings clear to him. He must be made to realize how the ones that really knew him saw him, instead of continue to believe that he was worth nothing, or even less than that. Somehow she would manage, she had to before he withdrew from the world again.

Hermione doubted that she could get through to him. But she would have to try, she knew she would always regret it otherwise.

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And that was that for this time, I so hope you enjoyed it, I love you all!

Reviews are like deer sightings outside my office window, so unexpected and so such lovely surprises ;o)


	17. Chapter 17

I am so sorry it has taken me so terribly long to update the story. I got totally stuck on this chapter and in the end just thought I would send it out so we can get on to the good stuff... Yep in the next chapter there will be lemons... I just have to write them first.. :o)  
As always, thanks to my beta Alex aka, oXRetributionXo for managing my punktuation!

I hope you will enjoy!

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Chapter 17

Hermione was packing her things at St. Mungo's, it was finally time to leave. She had gotten so many flowers that her quarters at Hogwarts would be full of nothing else if she took them all home, so instead she had spent her morning distributing them to the other patients who had none.

It had been seven days since she woke up; all of her nerve endings were back to normal and the bruises had vanished. To be honest she was quite relieved to be going back to Hogwarts. It seemed like she had had visitors at all hours, and all the attention was wearing her out a bit. She loved her friends, she really did, but she had gotten used to the solitude of Hogwarts. She longed for her own bed, her own books, and, she had to admit to herself, Severus. He had not come back to visit her since he rushed out of her room a week ago, and she hadn't heard from him either.

Suddenly Neville stuck his head inside her door. "Ready to go Hermione?"

Hermione turned towards Neville. He had a slight limp and she knew his wounds were still bothering him, but considering he had been close to death less than two weeks ago, he looked marvelous.

"Yes, I am, have you been over to see your parents?" Hermione asked.

Neville looked down a bit. "Yes, I have spent the morning with them, it hurts, but I have to see them more often. It is only me and my grandmother that goes to see them nowadays."

Hermione walked over to Neville and put her hand on his arm. "You are so strong Neville, and I am sure they appreciate it."

Neville straightened up and looked over at Hermione's packed bag. "We better go now so that McGonagall does not need to keep the Floo connection to her office open for too long."

Hermione broke into a smile as she nodded. She could not get back to Hogwarts fast enough.

oOo

Snape was pacing back and forth in his chambers. He knew that Hermione had come back to Hogwarts and was probably about three floors away from him right now in her own quarters. A part of him wanted to rush up there and see that she was ok, but another part held him back. It had been a week since he had seen her. After stalking out of her room the way he had, he assumed she would not want to talk to him again. And no matter what she said, it was his fault that she was in the hospital in the first place. But, he was aware of how irrational he had acted at St. Mungo's. He had watched over her bed like a hawk while she was unconscious, and the minute she woke up his relief was so great he could not even put it into words. But instead of happily taking her in his arms and showing her how glad he was that she was ok after all that had happened, he had all but called her stupid and left her as she called his name. He was full of contempt for himself, but that was something that was not new to him. He always had been as long as he could remember.  
Suddenly there was a knock on his door, and for a moment Snape's heart stopped. "Hermione." He whispered and rushed over to open the door. However, when he did, he found not the petite brunette he longed for, but a slightly nervous Neville Longbottom.  
"Mr. Longbottom, what can I do for you?" Snape asked calmly, his voice not betraying his disappointment.  
Neville´s eyes flickered to look at the room behind Snape´s shoulder. "Would it be alright if I come in for a little while? I would like to speak to you if that is ok."  
Snape turned towards his living room and pointed at the leather chairs. "Have a seat."  
Neville went over to one of the chairs and sank down into it, wincing a little as he did so.  
"Are you still sore?" Snape asked Neville as he sat down in the chair next to his former student.  
"The scars are still annoying me a bit, but I should be fine in a few weeks according to the healers. Wounds caused by dark magic heal terribly slow. About a year ago I got a knife wound over the knee when on assignment in Poland and the knife was apparently cursed because it opened up at least once a day for two months until it finally healed. The scar I have from that still bothers me every time I kneel down. It was a good thing I had already proposed to Hannah." Neville said with a smile.

"So Mr Longbottom, what is the reason for this rather unexpected visit? Is there further trouble at the Auror office?" Snape asked.

"I am not an auror anymore. I took these latest injuries as a sign that it was time to move on. Hannah might have had something to do with it as well; she is a very determined young woman and made it clear that if I did not quit before I got myself killed, she would make sure there was no way there would ever be little baby Longbottoms. But it was time...now that Rowle has been taken down there are no more Death Eaters out there that really matter much. I have stayed there long enough. Harry and Ron will take care of the rest. That is not what I am here to talk about though". Neville suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "I just want to thank you for saving me at the cabin. The healers say that there is no way I would have made it if you had not done what you did for me."

Snape was about to interrupt Neville who held up his hand. "No Severus, I have to get this out. I know you don´t react well to gratitude, but I would not be here without you. Plus, it's about time that you start to see yourself as so many of us others do. I am so grateful for what you have done, and no matter how you yourself look at what you have done through the years, it was heroic, and you can not change my mind on that matter. You have to come out of your dungeons eventually, there is a whole world outside your quarters that is just waiting for you. I am not saying things would be easy, or that everyone would like you, or even accept you. But you can not let others dictate how you live your life. And one more thing." Neville looked down on his hands and seemed to brace himself. "Hermione is one of my best friends, and I care a lot about her. During the rescue your feelings for her showed, well more than that even, it was screaming out of you really. And then at St. Mungo's I remember thinking that if she had died, a large part of you would have as well. I do not know what happened after she woke up, but I saw her looking at the door day after day as if hoping someone would come through it. So many others did, though never you, and every time she looked disappointed for just a second before she smiled again. I guess that what I am saying is that you need to do something about that. Either you man up and tell her how you feel or you leave her alone. I will not let you hurt her anymore."

Neville was sweating at his hairline and he looked like he expected Snape to attack him any second.

Snape looked intently at Neville. "That must have taken a lot of guts, very Gryffindor of you. I should say that it is none of your business what I do, but I think you know that. And since I know you say this out of care for your friend I will forget it for now, but if you ever try to meddle into my personal life again, well, let's just say that you don´t want to do that."

Neville looked up at Snape, who had stood up, and rose as well. "Point taken, but it had to be said. I will leave you alone now. Just so you know though, McGonagall said that she expects you to be at the faculty dinner in her quarters tonight."

Snape just nodded and Neville left feeling relieved, he had not even been hexed, something he had thouroughly expected.

Snape stood still in the room for quite a while after Neville had gone and thought about what he had just heard. He should have realized that his feelings would show, but in his worry for Hermione's safety he had forgotten to hide what he really felt. Yet he had hurt her so, and someone like her deserved so much more than an old broken man. She deserved the world, and he could not give it to her.

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During the dinner the spirits were high and Neville truly felt welcomed to the faculty. However, he could not help but look at the two people he thought so highly of, now sitting on separate sides of the table. There was no doubt in his mind that they loved each other, but that they did not know the other felt the same. He just wished he could help them somehow. They both deserved to be happy after giving up so much of themselves for the betterment of others.  
As the evening came to a close, most of the staff had already left, most of them slightly wobbly after the rather large amount of alcohol that had been consumed. Snape had rushed out as soon as dinner was over, but Hermione was sitting in a comfy chair in front of the fireplace, swivelling her wine around in a crystal glass while staring into the fire.  
Neville took the chair next to her and turned towards her.  
"Hermione, I am sorry that I might step over the line a bit now. But there is something I really want to talk to you about."

"Sure Neville, what's on your mind?" Hermione asked.

"I had a little chat with Severus before dinner and I think that you might need to be told the same as he was. I will not say he is an uncomplicated man or even a nice one, but when you look at him your eyes sparkle and when he looks at you there is a longing in his. I think that he needs a bit of a push though. He is a man of action in most ways, but this is not one of them. Hermione, if you want a chance with him, I think it will have to be you that takes the first step. It could leave you hurt, but the sparkle in your eyes says that you have to try."

Hermione who had been looking down at her hands now lifted her head and Neville saw that she had tears on her cheeks.

"Oh, I did not mean to make you cry." Neville took out a handkerchief from his robe and gave it to Hermione who took it and wiped her eyes.

"No, Neville, you are right. And you know what? This foolishness ends now!" With that, she stood up and with determined steps walked towards the dungeons.

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Yep we all know that a man like Severus needs a swift kick to the ass don´t we, and now he will get one. And it will taste like lemons as well.

Reviews will make next chapter even more citrus flavoured... ;o)


	18. Chapter 18

Hello wonderful readers, sorry this took so long, but I hope that the chapter will make up for it... ;o)

If you are underage or, well, a little sensitive. This might not be the chapter you should read, it has lemons galore...

After writing the chapter I have decided that being single is just not for me anymore, haha :o)

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I so hope you enjoy it!

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Snape´s wards hardly had time to warn him before his door was slammed open practically bouncing off it´s hinges.

Hermione now stood inside his quarters, but at the moment she looked more like a fury with eyes that sparkled with anger and her face distorted into a mask. But all Snape could think was that even when she was angry, Hermione was beautiful. Somehow when ever he was around her, his thoughts were severely erratic. He really should retrieve his wand before the woman in front of him decided to hex his private parts off or whack him over the head. But he realized that he trusted Hermione with his life and if she decided to hurt him in any way he would be able to walk away from it. And as a matter of fact if she would indeed hurt him, he probably deserved it anyway.

Hermione could see the surrender in Snape´s eyes and got even more angry. This man was totally impossible. She took a few steps forward and stared at the man with drooping shoulders in front of her.

"Severus Snape! What the hell happened to you? Where did the professor go that used to scare the living daylights out of me with just a look. The man who worked for years and years to make sure that our society stayed whole. And the man who just a week ago looked like an avenging angel. Now in front of me I see someone who wallows, second guesses himself, and most of all, avoids me like I have the plague. What have I done wrong?" Hermione all but screamed out.

Snape looked down on the floor and his hands became fists. His hair fell down in his face so Hermione had no way of knowing what he was thinking.

Hermione continued her rant with an even higher voice. "You assume that I feel misguided gratitude towards you and that I should just realize that I you are not the man I think you are, know you are even. But what ever gratitude I feel is perfectly legitimate, but such a small part of the feelings I have for you. There is just so much more. I have always looked up to you and the man you were, where is that man now?"

As Hermione stood panting after her tirade waiting for Snape to say something to her, anything at all, Snape slowly raised his face and looked at Hermione. His eyes looked like storm clouds and his features were stern, frightening even.

Hermione´s eyes widened and she whispered. "There he is."

Snape suddenly moved and took four swift steps towards Hermione and did not stop until he was looming over her. In a swift movement he put one hand on Hermione´s lower back and one behind her neck, pulled her closer and lowered his mouth against hers forcefully. Hermione gasped in surprise but responded almost immediately by throwing her arms around Snape´s neck pushing him even closer to her. She could hear something close to a low feral growl coming from Snape´s throat and his hand that was on her back started to move upwards with what felt like urgency.

Hermione felt a small bite on her lower lip and parted her lips to let him in. Snape immediately plundered her mouth and they feverishly began kissing even more intensely, savouring each other and letting their hands roam over their clothing.

Suddenly Snape lowered both of his hands and without breaking the kiss put them under Hermione´s buttocks and lifted her up towards him. Hermione put her legs around his waist and Snape took a few steps forward so that Hermione´s back was against the wall.

Hermione lifted one of her hands and touched Snape´s hair. It was incredibly silky to the touch.

She moved the hand towards the front of his neck and started to unfasten the buttons that held his robes together. There were too many buttons though and Hermione got inpatient and ripped it open instead. Snape broke the kiss as he heard the buttons hitting the floor and with a very seductive smile said "A bit inpatient are we?"

Hermione laughed. "One of the good things about being able to do magic is that one can fix almost anything, and right now my need to feel your skin under my fingers is greater than any kind of respect I have for your attire. "

Snape gave out a throaty laugh before he attacked her lips again. The thought of less clothing did make it necessary to move a little though, and the image of a naked Hermione in his mind made Snape lift her up again and carry her into the bedroom where he put her down on the floor in front of the bed.

Snape took a step back and just looked at her with a wicked smile on his face. "I do hope you realize that after tonight you will belong to me, think it over properly, this is your last chance my dear, otherwise you will be as bound to me as if we were married, I will never be able to let you go once I have had you."

Hermione breathed deeply and her eyes shone with lust, there was no doubt what her answer would be. Without saying a word she lifted up her hands and started to unbutton her robes. When she was done she let them fall to the floor. Now she was only wearing a short red dress with an plunging neckline. Very slowly while looking Snape straight into his eyes she pushed the straps down off her shoulders until nothing held the dress up anymore and it pooled down on the floor around her feet.

Snape´s mouth went dry and desire burned through his body, but he forced himself not to move as he saw the siren in front of him unclasping her silky red bra and letting it too fall to the floor. Finally she put her thumbs in the waistband of her panties and was about to pull them down when Snape spoke.

"No let me." He said in a husky voice. He stepped forward and put his hands on Hermione´s shoulders then moved them down slowly over her arms while he leaned forward and gently kissed the side of her neck going down to her collarbone. Hermione leaned her head backwards and just savoured the sensation of Snape´s mouth on her skin.

His hands moved to Hermione´s hips and then up her sides until they grazed the sides of her breasts and then lifted his head while gently taking one breast in each hand. They fit in his hands perfectly.

Slowly he let his thumbs play with Hermiones hard nipples and he heard a moan coming from her telling him that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Suddenly he felt more powerful than he ever had before. This vision of a woman wanted him, and he felt like he would never want anything else from the world but her, it was enough, she was enough.

Snape lowered his head towards Hermiones left breast and flicked his tongue over her nipple making it even harder, he then proceeded to suck it into his mouth making Hermione cry out his name.

"Severus!"

To hear his name from her lips made him shiver with lust and he stood up and gently pushed Hermione backwards so that she sat down on the bed. Snape put his hands on Hermiones legs and pulled them apart and then kneeled down between her legs. Slowly he moved his hands up the inside of her thighs until he reached her silky panties. With one finger he traced the edges teasingly until he pulled them to the side so that what he wanted the most was exposed to him. Snape locked his eyes with Hermiones and with a seductive smile lowered his mouth until his tongue touched her. With a gasp Hermione felt her body feel like electricity had gone through it, the sensation totally overwhelmed her and she leaned backwards until she was laying with all of her back on the bed.

Snape then started to move his tongue faster and faster flicking her most sensitive parts making her moan loudly. Hermione felt one finger and then two going inside her making her squirm with pleasure. The speed of both the fingers and tongue increased and Hermione felt like she was about to explode. But she wanted more.

"Severus please, I need you." Hermione said in a throaty voice and Snape could no longer contain himself. He had done his best to take things slowly, but the desire he had grew for every second and he knew that he had to take her. He stood up quickly and instead of wasting time with undressing he reached for his wand and with a muttered spell he stood naked in front of the bed.

Hermione looked at the man in front of her, he was splendid. He was lean but muscles showed all over his body and all the scars that he had only made him more attractive to her, they told the story of his life, his sacrifices and his honor.

Hermione also noted with pleasure that his hands and feet was not the only large parts of his body.

Snape smiled at her observing him. "Like what you see?"

"And then some." Hermione answered cheekily.

Snape laughed quietly. "But now it seems like you are the one who is overdressed though." He said nodding towards Hermiones panties as he reached towards them. Hermione lifted her hips as Snape hooked his fingers in her waistband and pulled the panties down her legs and threw them to the side.

Hermione slided backwards so that all of her body was on the bed. And then gave Snape a look that could not be misinterpreted.

The smile on his face was bigger than it had ever been as he went to lie on the bed with the woman he adored more than words could say.

Hermione reached out her arms towards Snape and he fell into her embrace and started to kiss her with feverish intensity.

Hermione lifted up her knees to the sides and lifted up her hips and Snape did not have to wonder what she wanted. Gently he steered himself into her and for a moment the world seemed to disappear. He felt like he had come home, something he never had before and he had to force himself to not get totally lost in the sensation and started to move in and out in slow movements.

"More, I want more." Hermione breathed, and then Snape could not hold on any more and picked up the pace. He growled without knowing it himself and Hermione reveled in the face of her lover over her. He looked glorious.

The tension built up more and more within Hermione and her breathing got more laboured. Snape could tell she was getting close and finally let all restraints go. With throaty sounds he pounded faster and faster until he heard Hermione scream out her pleasure. As the walls around him pulsated he was unable to hold on and felt himself release within his beautiful siren.

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Soooo, what do you think? I am so utterly curious to know what you think of my first attempt at lemons...

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Love you all!


	19. Epilogue

So my wonderful readers, I am so sorry for the extreme delay. Life got in the way, but I never forgot you and I always intended to come back and finish this story, so here it is, my Epilogue.

I can not even begin to tell you what a wonderful ride this has been. The fantastic reviews and the people I have gotten to know have been such a preacious thing for me.

I am writing this about 10 minutes before I will be posting it so I will not send it off to my beta. But I would like to thank Alex aka xoRetributionox who have helped me along with the betaing, you are a great chick indeed!

I am not sure there will be another story coming from me, but there are several little ideas living in me so who knows.

I can imagine that there are quite a few Pottermore people here and you can find me in Rawenclaw as SkySeeker206.

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But now on to the end of "Is there a way to start over"

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Snape sat holding his head in his hands leaning on the desk before him. In front of him stood a glass of firewhiskey, yet untouched, but he wanted it so desperately, he was not sure if he would be able to resist.

The room was dark, the last candle had burned out a while ago but he had not noticed.  
Just a few hours ago everything had seemed fine but then it all exploded. He could not help but to think of what had happened.  
A young woman screaming at him. The curly hair that he knew so well crackling from the natural magic that seemed to ooze out of her. Things had flown around the room and crashed against the walls. Her shrill voice still echoed in his head.  
"I hate you and never want to see you again! How can you, who I trusted the most of all betray me like this? I hope you burn in hell!"

Snape sighed and looked back at the filled glass.

A hand was gently put on his shoulder and a soothing voice softly spoke.

"Severus, is there a reason why the room looks like a pack of mountain trolls have run through it?"

Snape did not even look up at her.

"She will never speak to me again, I have lost her, and this time for good. It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest."

"Well, it is good then that I am here to put it back in." Hermione said. "What have you done to her this time?"

Snape looked miserable.

"I don´t know what happened. One moment it seemed like she was my little princess who adored her father and always came to me in the evening to have me read her a story. And the next she is a teenager who..." Snape choked up a bit."Who wants to start dating."

Hermione did her best to not let the smile on her lips be heard in her voice. "I see the problem, can I guess that your reaction to that was not especially good?"

Snape turned around in his chair and looked at his wife. "I was already hyperventilating after she told me she wanted to go out on a date. When she told me with whom I might have overreacted a tad." Snape looked abashed.

Hermione stroked his hair that had started to get silver streaks in them. "Love, she is sixteen now, we can not hide her away from half of the population. She is beautiful and lively, and had it not been for you she would have had dates every weekend from when the turned thirteen. You have scared the living daylights out of every boy even coming within speaking distance of her. I think that is says a lot about young Kevan that he actually had the guts to ask her out. He is still your student after all. Dare I ask what you said to our daughter?"

"I might have managed to hold my mouth at that time, but..." Snape did not seem to know how to proceed, and actually looked a little ashamed, something that rarely happened.

"Severus, sweetheart, what did you do?" Hermione walked around the desk so that she could face her husband.

"After asking Flitwick what class that son of a slug Kevan Grier was in I might have walked over there and asked to speak with him."

Hermione shook her head. "I assume I should translate that into that you stalked over to the classroom in a huff and dragged the boy outside."

Snape hesitated slightly. "That might be an accurate description of events."

"And then?" Hermione asked.

"I told him what I would do with him if he ever looked at my daughter again, and that just for imagining that he might be good enough for her I would curse his genepool to make sure all of his descendants were to become morons and squibs. My language might have been a bit more colorful as well."

Hermione tried but in the end could not help but to burst out laughing. "Love, one thing never disappoints over all of the years that we have been married, you always make sure to make the biggest debacle at the times when it would have been best for you just to remain silent and accept the situation. I think it took Minerva a few years to really getting over your blowout over the fact that she retired and appointed you her successor. I know you only react this way when it is about people you really care about. And we can be counted on one hand. But you know it only gets you into trouble." Hermione went around the desk and sat down on it in front of her husband. "So my love, what do we do to fix this?"

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One week later.

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Maia Snape was nervously smoothing down her dress. The clock seemed not to move at all.

Her father was pacing back and fourth outside her bedroom door. She had planned to change before the date up in her dorm in the Rawenclaw tower, but her mother had hinted that if things would go as smooth as it could, Kevan would have to be as oldfashioned as possible and meet her parents before they went out. It was Hogsmeade day and apparently Kevan had the whole day planned. But the clock would just not move.

Finally there was a knock on the outer door to the quarters and Maia took a deep breath and a last look in the mirror before she walked out into the livingroom.

There she saw her father staring at the young Gryffindor standing in the doorway. Kevan seemed to have lost all of his blood to his feet because he looked pale like parchment. But he took two steps forward and put out his hand towards his Principal. Hermione who stood behind Snape pushed him forward and after a short and rather hard handshake Hermione came forward and greeted the young man.

Maia exhaled and started to walk towards Kevan but then stopped infront of her father. She stood up on her toes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek and whispered. "Thank you dad" before she dashed out the door with her date.

As soon as the teenagers had left Hermione took out her wand and waved it at Snape and uttered "Finite incantatem".

Snape looked sternly at Hermione and spoke slowly. "Was it necessary to cast Silencio on me?"

Hermione just smiled and put her hand on Snapes cheek. "I am sorry, but it was for the greater good. Maia sees you as her hero again and we really did not want to jeopardize that, who know what might have jumped out of your mouth otherwise. I have something that will cheer you up though."

Snape looked suspiciously at his wife. "And what might that be?"

Hermione looked impish and took her husband by the hand. "We will have all day to ourselves and most of the staff will be in Hogsmeade since you sent them off to chaperone. And don´t think I did not hear you telling Filius to stay next to Maia and Kevan at all times. But since the castle is as good as empty I think we should continue our quest to make love in every classroom."

Hermione had hardly finished the last sentance when Snape lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder, walked out of the headmasters quarters and headed towards the charms classroom with a huge grin on his face.  
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The end

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I have not more words for you but to say, I love you all for cheering me up and reading my story.

Lots and lots of love

Caroline


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